2 king 25:29 "So Jehoiachin put off his prison garments. And every day of his life he dined regularly at the king’s table"
Some of you have heard me talk about this book a ton but i really do feel like she wrote this book about my life.. different stories but identical "take aways"! tara leigh talked about how we all have a prison garment/orange jumpsuit..fear,anxiety,shame,guilt,sin patterns..etc that we wear.
"I realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. (ref. 2Kings25:29)" - Ch.0
why is she describing my life right now? If i am honest with myself i know that Christ has freed me and my sin no longer defines who I am. But i live as if i've been freed yet wear the "patch" the "scar" "battle wound" as a reminder "this is who you are, ashley". My jumpsuit is a combination of fear of people, shame/guilt of my past, and control. So basically i have layers of jumpsuits or one for each week haha. Do you ever feel like you have to continue to wear your jumpsuit because you deserve to be punished?
1 john 1:9 says"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
it does NOT say if we confess our sins , he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins after being punished or after you earn your forgiveness. Christ did not die on the cross so that we would continue to live as slaves. When we take our sins to the cross we leave them there, never to return to take them back or relieve them. God is able and his Cross was and is enough to take on our sin.
"i realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. but in the view of such a generous king it seems most insulting thing i could ever do is to show up at His banquet table wearing the prison garment that carried the stint of death . especially since he gave me new clothes : garments of salvation and a robe of righteousness (isa 61:10 , strength and dignity (proverbs 31:25)"
I've never thought about how "insulting" it is to God when i keep trying to take back my sin. It's as if i am saying that his life wasn't enough. It cheapens all the beating, all the blood,all the humility, all of the love that he endured on the cross. It is saying that i know what's best for me as if God and I are on the same level. Who am I to know what's best. Makes me think of Job 38:4-7 where God get's sassy..
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"
Thankful for the reminder that i am not God and his thoughts are not my thoughts, his ways are not my ways. Even still, even in my pride, control and thoughts of saving myself.. he still initiates, pursues and invites us to his table..DAILY. what an honor, it's not a "have to" but HE wants to! Praying that i would LET God cleanse me of my sin and that i would leave it at the cross. Praying that i would TRUST God's intentions towards me and i would HONOR him rather than belittle him. Thankful that his mercies are new for my daily and he's not a grudge holder!
So my friend, what's your orange jumpsuit...and why are you still wearing it??
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Here lately..
I can't tell you how many times i have thought.. "ohh i wanna blog about that later" or "blog worthy", "when i get to my computer then i will write it ( vs. the iphone where my chubby fingers struggle to type leaving me with THE MOST auto correct "oops" that its not even worth typing)
so a double "woot woot" and throw your hands up to a new blog!!
Here lately:
* moved from apt 186 to a new house (which im in love with)
*new roomie (who screams everytime she comes home bc she loves the house so much)
*being reminded how much i LOVE hosting
*learning how to cook (thanks katherine)
*"the Lord is not slow in keeping his promises" 2 peter 3:9
*finally watched "the help" confirms two things: 1)i knew i was suppose to be black 2) i should prob write "the help- second edition" as the point of view from the nanny, it would be just as good.
*i love a good thrift store, i knew this.. but seriously its like a drug
*"we will never be good enough to impress a Holy God."-Andy Lewis (but yet i keep trying)
*Creepy old man, our next door neighbor who left this note in my garage " There will NOT be anymore nosey folks near this house never again. Pretended to be owner (hee hee) and scared the younsters away. Clemson mascot 2nd oldest dog was drugged dragged 1/3 of body now know as "miracle dog" to biblical believers." ... (no comment)
*learning to sew- dying to be good at it!
*katherine, determined to find me a book that comes alive, so much so that i lose track of time and get sad when the book ends, no more "hangout" with the characters...Finally found my "sad when it ends, book", "Orange Jumpsuit" by tara leigh cobble must read!
*one of many quotes to come from the book...
"I realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. (ref. 2Kings25:29)" - Ch.0
what are my "jumpsuits" and why do i feel the need to still wear them?
""Gospel community is impossible when you are hiding. If anyone says they love you, you doubt & despise them, since they don't really know you." Ch.20"
*"Thank you that we don’t have to mute our emotions,window-dress our stories,or doing anything to get ready for grace.Grace is for the sinner not for the competent."- Scotty smith
*Paul Tripp "Hope is not a thing, not a location, not a situation, not an experience. Hope is a person and his name is Jesus."
*"Are you snacking on spiritual things or eatting?" - Andy Lewis
* "He gives us as much as we need..but we snack for security,instead of security we become insecure and feel the need to protect it." Andy Lewis
* As a culture we dont know what it looks like to groan/long/yearn. Even Christmas what use to be something i waited and counted down till for most kids if they want a certain toy they just go get it. What does it look like to groan and long for without expectation/demands and bitterness? And then when we get it what does it look like to enjoy ______ for longer than a week or two, living as though we "deserve" it.
*Better Health whooohooo learning again what "normal" feels like... so thankful! (praying that i would enjoy the lords healing and not just go on like the last two years didn't mean anything)
*dillsboro luminaries 2011
eventually i would like to blog about each one of these points.. lets see how that goes!
so a double "woot woot" and throw your hands up to a new blog!!
Here lately:
* moved from apt 186 to a new house (which im in love with)
*new roomie (who screams everytime she comes home bc she loves the house so much)
*being reminded how much i LOVE hosting
*learning how to cook (thanks katherine)
*"the Lord is not slow in keeping his promises" 2 peter 3:9
*finally watched "the help" confirms two things: 1)i knew i was suppose to be black 2) i should prob write "the help- second edition" as the point of view from the nanny, it would be just as good.
*i love a good thrift store, i knew this.. but seriously its like a drug
*"we will never be good enough to impress a Holy God."-Andy Lewis (but yet i keep trying)
*Creepy old man, our next door neighbor who left this note in my garage " There will NOT be anymore nosey folks near this house never again. Pretended to be owner (hee hee) and scared the younsters away. Clemson mascot 2nd oldest dog was drugged dragged 1/3 of body now know as "miracle dog" to biblical believers." ... (no comment)
*learning to sew- dying to be good at it!
*katherine, determined to find me a book that comes alive, so much so that i lose track of time and get sad when the book ends, no more "hangout" with the characters...Finally found my "sad when it ends, book", "Orange Jumpsuit" by tara leigh cobble must read!
*one of many quotes to come from the book...
"I realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. (ref. 2Kings25:29)" - Ch.0
what are my "jumpsuits" and why do i feel the need to still wear them?
""Gospel community is impossible when you are hiding. If anyone says they love you, you doubt & despise them, since they don't really know you." Ch.20"
*"Thank you that we don’t have to mute our emotions,window-dress our stories,or doing anything to get ready for grace.Grace is for the sinner not for the competent."- Scotty smith
*Paul Tripp "Hope is not a thing, not a location, not a situation, not an experience. Hope is a person and his name is Jesus."
*"Are you snacking on spiritual things or eatting?" - Andy Lewis
* "He gives us as much as we need..but we snack for security,instead of security we become insecure and feel the need to protect it." Andy Lewis
* As a culture we dont know what it looks like to groan/long/yearn. Even Christmas what use to be something i waited and counted down till for most kids if they want a certain toy they just go get it. What does it look like to groan and long for without expectation/demands and bitterness? And then when we get it what does it look like to enjoy ______ for longer than a week or two, living as though we "deserve" it.
*Better Health whooohooo learning again what "normal" feels like... so thankful! (praying that i would enjoy the lords healing and not just go on like the last two years didn't mean anything)
*dillsboro luminaries 2011
eventually i would like to blog about each one of these points.. lets see how that goes!
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