Remember

in the outer banks this week working...at this house with 18 bedrooms and 30 of us

There is something about a lil road trip/ change of the routine that i just love. i feel like its those times the lord takes me out of myself and helps me look back, reflect and be reminded that God has not left me stuck..

i fear being stuck.
i fear a routine
i fear that i just do things because thats how they have always been done.
i don't want to be that girl.
I don't want to have things so down pat that i rely on myself because i know i can handle it.

Thankful for some time away to just sit in bed and journal. What a year this has been.. one that i know will be looked back on as a turning point in my life. Though i can't go into full detail via my blog, this is all you need to know..

i let sin reign and have more authority in my life than Christ.
i let sin hold me up against the wall where i could not breathe..
Chains so tight i was starting to lose feeling..
and then...i took my eyes off of Christ.

my heart drops in being reminded where i've been. i hate that sin has power and that Satan comes "as an angel of light". its so appealing and forbidden that you will do anything to get it. While journaling i thought about what verses were my "to-go-to's" the thing that would soften the hardest of hearts.. mine would be one i have heard over and over kinda like john 3:16.. this would come in second place. But for some reason these words come off the page for me. They speak to my core and provide hope to a weary heart.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

all the things "i wish" i could go back and change..all the regrets..and anxiety i follow a God that works all things for the Good. He is sovereign over the smallest details of my life and uses my mess to reflect his glory..(how..why..really how? and really why??)it does not make sense to me..but its the truth.He is so commited to be he would not let me settle for the chains and gasping in between breathes.

Isa 38:17 "Surely it was for my benefit
that I suffered such anguish.
In your love you kept me
from the pit of destruction;
you have put all my sins
behind your back."

Thanks you Jesus that in your love you kept me from the pit of destruction..you didn't have to but you did!!Thank you for the forgiveness of sin that you do not and will not hold a record against me but you choose to forget my sin. Thankful for freedom that comes through your gospel.

"Remember the wondrous works that He has done" ps 105:5 Thankful for God's faithfulness to me in 2010, dreaming and praying towards what He could do in 2011!!

Victory Over the Darkness

1. Why should I say I can’t when the Bible says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil. 4:13)?
2. Why should I lack when I know that God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Phil.4:19)?
3. Why should I fear when the Bible says God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7)?
4. Why should I lack faith to fulfill my calling knowing that God has allotted to me a measure of faith (Rom. 12:3)?
5. Why should I be weak when the Bible says that the Lord is the strength of my life and that I will display strength and take action because I know God (Psa. 27:1;Dan. 11:32)?
6. Why should I allow Satan supremacy over my life when He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4)?
7. Why should I accept defeat when the Bible says that God always leads me in triumph (2 Cor. 2:14)?
8. Why should I lack wisdom when Christ became wisdom to me from God and God gives wisdom to me generously when I ask Him for it (1 Cor. 1:30; Jas. 1:5)?
9. Why should I be depressed when I can recall to mind God’s lovingkindness, compassion and faithfulness and have hope (Lam. 3:21-23)?
10. Why should I worry and fret when I can cast all my anxiety on Christ who cares for me (1 Peter 5:7)?
11. Why should I ever be in bondage knowing that there is liberty where the Spirit of the Lord is (Gal 5:1)?
12. Why should I feel condemned when the Bible says I am not condemned because I am in Christ (Rom. 8:1)?
13. Why should I feel alone when Jesus said He is with me always and He will never leave me nor forsake me (Matt. 28:20; Heb. 13:5)?
14. Why should I feel accursed or that I am the victim of bad luck when the Bible says that Christ redeemed me from the curse of the law that I might receive His Spirit (Gal. 3:13,14)?
15. Why should I be discontented when I, like Paul, can learn to be content in all my circumstances (Phil. 4:11)?
16. Why should I feel worthless when Christ became sin on my behalf that I might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor. 5:21)?
17. Why should I have a persecution complex knowing that nobody can be against me when God is for me (Rom. 8:31)?
18. Why should I be confused when God is the author of peace (not confusion) and He gives me knowledge through His indwelling Spirit (1 Cor. 14:33; 2:12)?
19. Why should I feel like a failure when I am a conqueror in all things through Christ (Rom. 8:37)?
20. Why should I let the pressures of life bother me when I can take courage knowing that Jesus has overcome the world and its tribulations (John 16:33)?”

“Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ.” By Neil T. Anderson

ohh the finish line..

finally a new blog..

don't know if anyone ever reads this thing but i love to read back on where i have been, the emotion that stands behind the memory and see where the lord had me now.

Though i long for a finish line..a quick fix..or AT LEAST one area of my life to be perfected...it still hasn't happened.(wouldn't it be nice though if it was like the girl in the picture..skinny,confident,doesn't look tired at all and ends the race with a smile...yeah right!) some days that leaves me frustrated with little to no patience and other days thankful that i trust in a God who wont let me settle or give up. today another day with the lil children who i adore but today i had NO patience. Alot on my mind.. tired after a fun weekend..feeling sick and yet i still have to love these kids. i have started to realize i am ocd cleaning wise.. wanting everything in its place. with 3 girls ages 1,3,and 5 that doesn't really happen..but i am determined. well today i gave up and eventually just had to sit and take in that i can't control the mess. exhausted,frustrated,ready for a nap (you would think i was talking about one of the kids, haha but this is me)i just felt like if i could see the lord's face in that moment he would have a smirk/huge grin on his face. "you thought you could control the mess" (and then a burst of laughter) it was like i saw my life through my ocd metaphor. i really do want to control everything and work and work and work till i have the majority of it maintained. i know i am not perfect and wont be till Christ comes back.. but i want it so bad. "if i just spent more time in the word and was a "good" christian, THEN he would give me more responsibility or authority over my own life. i live life like that, but when i admit it to myself i think "dang girl you crazy! why would you trust yourself with that responsibility?? you can hardly make it through the day without a breakdown/drama queen/ the world revolves around me/why is my life so hard moment.why did i ever think it was a good idea to trust in myself, when my emotions are all over the place. as i leave another bible study tonight praying with a group of women that confess we don't have it together..i just want more of Christ and less of me.. can that be my quick fix? can i please remember that when i wake up ready to get through another day hoping it will be "good" day..no hardships,frustrations,tears,insecurities (when does that ever happen??) can i please take my eyes off myself and my needs tomorrow and really love people well,pray often,serve because i care rather than "i have to". can i make much of you as "Jesus,my shepherd,Brother,Friend,my Prophet,Priest,and King,My Lord,My Life,my Way,my End," as we wait in this advent season that you did come and you will come again. Thank you Jesus! Help me to remember it’s worth the cost to move beyond myself daily!!

hopeful i will remember this moment again,

sincerly,

24 yr old drama queen

"How long, Lord?"

Listened to Lauren Chandler talk at a retreat. She talked through psalm 107.. I love it because it speaks to so many different seasons of life, one being the desert or wilderness.How do you know if you are there?? This feeling of loneliness, isolation or you don’t feel like you will see anyone for miles.. definitely not God. When you go back to the word some of your favorite verses that always make you feel the holy spirit but then.. nothing. Its like... "Lord where are you??".



For example this 3 amigo clip. They look miserable, pouring sweat, wishing they could be anywhere else but there. Each of them take out their water bottles first small drips of what is left of his water, what a tease. The second, nothing but sand-completely empty, and third he has so much water he even has enough to clean his teeth. Don't you just hate when you feel like you are the one stuck in the dry season, nothing seems to satisfy but everyone else around you enjoy the word everything comes to life quenching their thirst.
LOVE David's heart in Ps 13:1-2 almost like a desert song.."God i'm not feeling ya.. where are you??"

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

And then i think..How did I get there, or end up in the desert??
hosea 2:14-17
14 “Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the wilderness
and speak tenderly to her.
15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor[a] a door of hope.
There she will respond[b] as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.
16 “In that day,” declares the LORD,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.[c]’
17 I will remove the names of the Baals(idols) from her lips;
no longer will their names be invoked.

Sometimes the reason you are in the desert was because God took you there. He doesn’t do anything without promise. He is going to fulfill his promise. But it might mean going through this season. God wants to make himself known to you. He wants to lay to waste idols in your life. Yet we so often think.." A loving god would not let pain enter my life" yet that is NOT the God of the bible. Almost as if God is saying to me "You think you know me but you don’t. This is your invitation for you.. know me I am leading you to this place so that you would find me, the real me, and not something that you made up."

How does he lead us out?
He hears our cry and responds. Meaning we have to cry, humility to realize you can’t get yourself out. So you just stop and say ok I am in the desert I feel all alone, help me! That, that is worship. Its not in me it must be in you. He is faithful to respond to you. Leads you out in a straight way. Straight.. there is some kind of progression. Confession you have made a god out of something, confess the dry place. Press into the lord. Don’t check out. Read scripture pray don’t check out.

At the end there is a city waiting. The desert is all alone, abandoned but the city there are people there, Hope! There is a city coming for you whether on earth or heaven its coming for you.
He will be the only one that will lead you out. The lord has given you a desert season so that you would no longer call the name of your idols but call out the name of your God. The God that has a love for you unending, faithful, loyal, not about itself, but for your good. If you don’t know Jesus you will stay in the desert because there is no city for you. But for those in Christ, He is the good Shepard knowing the way out because he is the way, the truth, and the life.

Thank you Jesus for seasons. Thank you that you do not leave us to a stagnant life but promise a city for those in Christ. So thankful that you knew I would be here. Thankful that you gathered me, you know my pain, struggle and freedom you long to show me. Thank you for speaking tenderly to me as my husband,protecting me as a Father, and having authority as King in my life. Pray that i would see your character today and rest easy knowing that you finished it.

A Prayer About the Orphan in Me

Thankful for these words from Scotty Smith this morning...

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. Galatians 4:4-7

Lord Jesus, thank you for these incredible promises of pursuit and presence—your pledge to love us with filial affection, far beyond our imaging. There are moments, days… even much longer stretches… when I begin to think, feel and live as though I am still an orphan—as though I don’t really have a heavenly Father who loves me deeply… one who is involved in every detail of my life.

When I get sucked back into this downward spiral, my spirit shrinks and my fears enlarge. Trust and rest say “Bye-bye” and my control issues say, “We’re back!” I get defensive and I go on the offensive. In short, I’m no fun be around.

Instead of the aroma of the gospel, I start exuding the smell of a waif. Instead of taking things to the cross, I start taking things personally. Instead of your peace ruling as an umpire in my heart, my long “to do list” keeps racing through my head. I sleep less and stew more. Instead of living “palms up” in gratitude and surrender, I live tight fisted, trying to micro-manage the wind.

Jesus, enough of my generalities… I repent. I smell like an orphan this morning. I wish there was a button I could push or a switch I could throw and all of the sudden “snap out of it.” There’s no such shortcut, but there is repentant faith and the resources of the gospel… along with much needed rest and refreshment.

Jesus, you haven’t left me as an orphan. You came to us through the gift of the Holy Spirit—the Spirit of Adoption… the very Spirit by which we now cry, “Abba, Father!” You never have and never will abandon us. Right now, I abandon myself to you and to the riches of your grace. And as one hour gives way to the next, may the power of the gospel recharge my drained heart. So very Amen, I pray, in your loving name with longing expectancy.

The little things in life..

Things i love from today:
1)worshipping with other believers
2)lunch with katy G,lynn,lindsay, and brittni @ Moe's
3) Afternoon nap
4)community group and babysitting the kiddos
5)cold weather
6) snuggling on the couch with my blanket, apple cider and a good book
7)My pumpkin candle and my white christmas lights
8) being still before the lord
9) prayer:
"All-satisfying God, forgive us for making
Your good gifts a substitute for You.
We are so prone to mistake the portrait for the person.
Satisfy us with Yourself.
You have promised in the New Covenant,
“They shall all know me from the least to the greatest.”
Let this be our portion now—a kind of knowing,
O God, that treasures the One we know.
Let us experience the gospel in its fullness,
which is Christ crucified and risen
for sinners to bring us home to You." John Piper
10) an extra hour of sleep
11) watching an episode of 90210

love a good sabbath!

Forever Reign

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

My heart will sing
no other Name
Jesus, Jesus

He himself will redeem

Psalm 130

¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;

² O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

³ If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?

⁴ But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

⁵ I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

⁶ My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

⁷ O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.

⁸ He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Thank you lord that you are committed to me. Thank you that you don't do things half way or kinda finish, but you promise FULL, complete redemption and restoration only through Jesus. I confess that i see you as Santa making lists and checking it twice; Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice. But with you are new beginnings every morning, grace that is sufficient enough for me. Pray that in waiting i would put my hope in your word rather than people, anxious thoughts or circumstances. Praise God that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."-Heb. 13:8 Amen Amen

I can't see anything but darkenss around me...

let's be honest i love a good blog. I love reading honest hearts of how they wrestle to know the lord. I love the emotion behind the words that lead me to worship because i realize i'm not the only one. I'm not the only one with a sick disease that is killing me from the inside out, known as sin. Thankful that i am not expected to fight this fight alone but God graciously provides the body of Christ. So with that said here is a blog that truly speaks to the depths of my weary heart.

"I can't see anything but darkness around me. There is little I can say with confidence. His arm has come down upon me and His hand has ripped from me every single thing that would potentially bring security to me. He has wounded me. I am limping, teetering between hopelessness and hope. So I wait. And I try to listen. I attempt to fight lies that feel more powerful than me. I fear that my definition of myself will be determined by circumstances and people who cannot handle my heart of flesh. And in the midst of it all...fear, intense anxiety, twisted thinking, deep sin, feelings of being abandoned...I see a piece of paper in the bottom of a bag I have emptied out:

"I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you." John 14:18

How is it that God came make you so mad and in the next minute be your full satisfaction? To those of you who know me and are around me...I am sorry for not knowing who I am, for not turning to the Lord but instead turning to the craving of a pain-free life and demanding that you all be a part of making it right. Heaven is not here...I am realizing this more and more and I will look with more anticipation for its coming." -Dawn Poulter

Kari Jobe- my beloved

You're My Beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love

You're Beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me

Under My mercy
Come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you
My child

You're Beautiful to Me
So Beautiful to Me

I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your care down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me

I'll breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole

You're My beloved
You're My Bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me my love

'I have far too long in my prayer life lived like a sniper"

"I have far too long in my prayer life lived like a sniper. I save all of my energy trying to sneak up on God to take this one shot which I hope he will answer. Rather, today the gospel has reminded me that because of Christ's love and righteousness I am fully covered and can enter the presence of a Holy God with boldness."- Andy Lewis

God i need you but my prideful and stubborn heart convinces me otherwise. I hate that my thoughts have more authority in my life than Christ and the Cross. Why do i live life going through the motions like your cross is not sufficient to cover my sin, remove my shame, and bring me life? But then it hits me, this was never a story about me. Lord i pray that i would not see you as a God who starts a lot of things in my life and then leaves me to balance it all but you are with me. You are sovereign over all things even to the smallest details. Pray today that "because of Christ love and righteousness I am fully covered and can enter the presence of a Holy God with Boldness." Thank you Jesus!

Stolen Blog

I'm starting to believe Lauren Chandler and I were meant to be friends...

Lauren writes:There's a song we sing at our church that has grown so dear to my heart. The songwriter simply states the sovereignty of God...He is God in our living, God in our breathing, God in our waking, God in our sleeping, God in our watching, God in our waiting, God in our hurting, God in our healing. He is everything. But my favorite part is the pre-chorus...

Christ in me, Christ in me, Christ in me, the hope of glory!

I was born a perfectionistic people pleaser. I wanted everyone to be happy with me. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted everyone to think I was neat. However, I had a tough time reconciling the fact that I wasn't perfect. Not everyone was happy with me. Not everyone liked me. Not everyone thought I was neat. I was flawed. I failed others. Simply put, I was human.

I have a hard time being human. I want to be super-human. But I'm not and never will be. There's only one who is super-human. Only one who can withstand the weight of perfection. He is Christ.

As a believer, though I am an imperfect and flawed jar of clay (2 Cor. 4:7), ordinary and blemished, within me I contain Christ, the hope of glory. The hope that one day, when I see Him, I will be like Him (1 John 3:2). But not one day before that. Though He may increase and I may decrease, there will still be that old man that refuses to die. Oh to shed this skin and put on a new one for good!

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure." (1 John 3:1 - 3)

Hope.

For the good!

Living in Greenville has for sure been a transition for me...

Things such as:

Living in a city vs. mountains,
Traveling on several highways everyday vs. one main road in the valley.
Large Presbyterian church vs. small country Baptist church on the hill .
Families with several children as friends vs. College age friends 5+ yrs younger than me
Slower pace with evening to relax vs. constant go,go, go & always something to do
Living with empty nesters vs. 3 amazing friends in a barn
Recieving teaching vs. pouring into others
Thinking for myself vs. a movement of college girls

..all good things!!! but just very different from each other.

What a month it has been. But tonight as i drive home from bible study (back to the empty nesters) i cant help but, be thankful. just thankful. yes, this has been a month of many tears, alot of unknown, and feeling alone. A month of getting use to showing up to things as a newbie and putting myself out there to make new friends. A month of just wondering who am i? and what is the Lord doing in my life?

I am so thankful for the body of Christ at Mitchell Road. God really is doing so much in and through this church and i am blown away to be apart of it. Every new thing i go to people welcome me with open arms like i have been their best friend all our lives. Young and old! I love that, i love that Christ really does use people to show himself to us. Tonight i was able to just learn. To learn things about christianity that i just always assumed but never really questioned. Then to end our time praying for each other in our group. Women different phrases of life, different struggles, diffferent spiritual gifts, backgrounds, stories, but yet not even knowing all of them we still bear one anothers burdens and pray to the same Lord and know that He hears us and he has purposed this very night for us to meet and worship him together.

Thank you Lord that the fear of being abandon, orphan and alone through transition you have crushed and brought freedom through your sons and daughters to welcome me with open arms, That i might experience you in a new way. I am humbled and wonder why i fail to believe your word in Romans 8:28 "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

..a Thankful heart..

a new beginning

"He leads me beside still waters, he restores [refreshes] my soul."

God invites you this morning to:
1)receive refreshment
2)restoration
3)reviving
4)a new beginning.

Thank you Lord that you lead me and know better than i could ever imagine for myself. Thank you that you continue to refresh,restore,revive, and give me a new beginning everyday. I do not deserve this and take it for granted. I beg that my heart would worship you today, make much of you and nothing of myself. I am so needy for you to take these shallow roots and grow them strong and deep for the sake of knowing you as Father, Husband, and King.

Growing hurts

And yet another stolen blog. Lauren Chandler. She took the words out of my mouth...

"When I was a kid, I experienced some intense "growing pains" in my legs. I remember tossing and turning in bed trying to fall asleep wrestling with the pain. It hurt.

Things really haven't changed all that much. Growing still hurts.

And I still wrestle with it.

Last night, a sweet friend delivered a note to me that I believe was from the Lord. It said something to the effect of "be patient...I am growing your roots strong and deep." So strange to feel two seemingly conflicting emotions at one time: comfort of knowing the Lord knows and is in control but also a "soul sigh"...a things-are-going-to-sting-for-a-bit sigh.

He won't let me settle for shallow roots. He knows as soon as a stiff wind blows through the plain that I would be uprooted, lifted from the soil and taken away. He loves me more than that.

Just as I love my children more than that. I don't rejoice in the painful discipline that I enact upon them. However, I do rejoice in the fruit that painful discipline brings. Obedience leading to joy.

"My child, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives."

Hebrews 12:5 - 6

Father, You desire truth in the inmost parts. And, I must truthfully say that this discipline hurts. This growth isn't as joyful in the process. However, I trust You. I believe You are good and that You do good. I believe that You love me and therefore discipline me. You draw my roots further and further down, breaking hardened earth and pushing back dirt lacking proper nutrients. You beckon me deeper to rich, fertile soil that I may be an oak of righteousness, a planting for the display of Your splendor. Lord, sustain me in the growing, in the stretching, in the groaning. You are good and You do good"

"God is not a thing to be studied. He is a person to be experienced"

"In verse 1 we are offered water, wine, and milk. "Ho every one who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price."

Don't these three beverages correspond to deep needs that every one of us has?

Water corresponds to the need for refreshment. When you are most thirsty and most desperate, most dehydrated, it's water that you want and nothing else. "He leads me beside still waters, he restores [refreshes] my soul." God invites you this morning to receive refreshment, restoration, reviving, a new beginning.

Milk corresponds to the need for ongoing nourishment. When someone is gasping for life, you give them water. But when you want a little baby to grow day after day, you give it milk again and again. God is not just for emergencies and mountain peaks. He is for health in the long haul. He invites you not only to come alive with water, but also to be stable and strong with milk.

Wine corresponds to the need for exhilaration. We want to live and not die. We want to be strong and stable instead of weak and wavering. But that is not all we need in life. No matter how stoic, unemotional, phlegmatic, laid-back, or poker-faced we may seem to others, there is a child inside of every one of us that God made for exhilaration—for shouting and singing and dancing and playing and skipping and running and jumping and laughing.

So what verse 1 says is that God is willing to revive us from the heat of Death Valley with the miracle of his water; and make us strong and healthy and stable with the miracle of his milk; and then give us endless and ever-fresh exhilaration with the miracle of his wine.

God is not a thing to be studied. He is a person to be experienced. He is food and life and joy for the soul." -John Piper

Thank you Lord, Thank you for the invitation to experience you today

"i will not be defeated..."

Thankful that this is the God i follow..

"He does not need me to be well versed, well trained, well groomed or highly talented...He used mud to make a blind man see. This is what I love about the Lord and this is what brings hope to my fearful state...He is a God of redemption and He is about bring beauty from ashes. So..in my weak state, in my fear and in my inadequacies and imperfections, He swoops down and pours forth His strength and character, His insights and wisdom into my heart and mind..."Dawn Poulter

I find rest in God;
only he gives me hope.
He is my rock and my salvation.
He is my defender;
I will not be defeated. (Psalm 62:5-6)

Be thou my vision

God pray that you would be my vision today,my battle shield for today,the sword for my fight today, pray that you would be my soul's shelter that is enough for me today, Pray that you Lord would be first in my heart,and whatever happens today that you would still be my vision o ruler of all. Amen

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

Thankful for these truths today..

"Christ my King, let me recognize and let go of my fears today by trusting you as a sovereign, transcendent, and Holy King who has the knowledge and power to both know and change my life. Regardless of what happens - one day Satan will be crushed (for he is already on your short leash) - trouble will cease and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Instead of being overcome with the world let me today remain in you...trusting and resting. Amen and Amen"- Andy Lewis

Living out of what has been freely given

Always love me some truth from Andy Lewis the pastor of Mitchell Road in Greenville,SC. His blog is amazing, it draws me in and makes me want to just be still before the Lord. So tonight after a long day when i'm just done with myself, I am thankful for these words..

Living out of what has been freely given-
From Paul's letter to the Corinthian church chapter 2 quoting first Isaiah 64 and then giving counsel. "'no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.'... (v.12) we have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us."

Again today I need to remember the gift of grace. Why am I so forgetful? Why do I run to my to do list so early? Even in my dreams last night it is my fears and anxieties that clearly dominate my mind when in R.E.M.

I'm so glad to have read I Cor. 2 this morning. It reminds me v. 16 that we have the 'mind of Christ.' It reminds me that we have a story that no one could have imagined. No one was prepared for what God had in store for those who love him! Full redemption, free grace, no longer having to be bound to secret sins, no more need to cover up, identity in a redeemer, satisfaction of our souls, longings fulfilled - and those are only the things we have in this life!

It is the Spirit of God that understands what God has freely given us! It is our humility needed to accept this. And in humility I have to turn to Scotty Smith and Tim Keller who have summarized this better than I ever could. Scotty quotes Tim saying “If you want God’s grace, all you need is need, all you need is nothing. But that kind of spiritual humility is hard to muster.”

Well today that is my goal. To remember rather than forget. To be reminded of the story of grace freely given. To open myself up to the Spirit's correction. To not muster up my own abilities or initiatives but to muster up the humility to ask God and others for help and direction. To live in the freedom of grace that is freely given in order that in obedience I may discern the mind of Christ.

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen and Amen.

Dependency-reliance on, need for..

"Lord I want more of You
We are hungry
We are hungry
We are hungry for the more of You
We are thirsty, oh Jesus
We are thirsty for the more of You"-Shane & Shane

"Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and pow’r."-Come ye sinners

"Living in dependence on ME is the way to enjoy abundant life. You are learning to appreciate tough times, because they amplify your awareness of My Presence. Tasks that you used to dread are becoming rich opportunities to enjoy My closeness. When you feel tired, you remember that I am your strength; you take pleasure in leaning on Me.

When you are with other people, you often lose sight of My Presence. Your fear of displeasing people puts you in bondage to them, and they become your primary focus. When you realize this has happened, whisper My Name; this tiny act of trust brings Me to the forefront of your consciousness,where I belong. As you bask in the blessing of My nearness,My life can flow through you to others. This is abundant life!"
-Jesus Calling

"Fear of man will prove to be snare(trap),but whoever trust in the Lord is kept safe." proverbs 29:25

He gives strength to the weary..

"COME TO ME with empty hands and an open heart,ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and the breadth of your neediness. Your life path has been difficult,draining you of strength. Come to Me for nurture. Let Me fill you up with My presence:I in you ,and you in Me.

My power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith;they are links to My Presence." -Sarah young

Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Thankful for ways God gives strength to the weary, thankful that He is aware of my neediness.Thankful that He thinks well for me. Thankful that even when I try to fill my neediness with everything but him He never gives up on me. Thankful that he does not require perfection but a dependency on him.Thankful when I want to run and isolate myself every time I fail He responds with "come to me". Thankful there is Hope in the Lord.