let's be honest i love a good blog. I love reading honest hearts of how they wrestle to know the lord. I love the emotion behind the words that lead me to worship because i realize i'm not the only one. I'm not the only one with a sick disease that is killing me from the inside out, known as sin. Thankful that i am not expected to fight this fight alone but God graciously provides the body of Christ. So with that said here is a blog that truly speaks to the depths of my weary heart.
"I can't see anything but darkness around me. There is little I can say with confidence. His arm has come down upon me and His hand has ripped from me every single thing that would potentially bring security to me. He has wounded me. I am limping, teetering between hopelessness and hope. So I wait. And I try to listen. I attempt to fight lies that feel more powerful than me. I fear that my definition of myself will be determined by circumstances and people who cannot handle my heart of flesh. And in the midst of it all...fear, intense anxiety, twisted thinking, deep sin, feelings of being abandoned...I see a piece of paper in the bottom of a bag I have emptied out:
"I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you." John 14:18
How is it that God came make you so mad and in the next minute be your full satisfaction? To those of you who know me and are around me...I am sorry for not knowing who I am, for not turning to the Lord but instead turning to the craving of a pain-free life and demanding that you all be a part of making it right. Heaven is not here...I am realizing this more and more and I will look with more anticipation for its coming." -Dawn Poulter
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