2 king 25:29 "So Jehoiachin put off his prison garments. And every day of his life he dined regularly at the king’s table"
Some of you have heard me talk about this book a ton but i really do feel like she wrote this book about my life.. different stories but identical "take aways"! tara leigh talked about how we all have a prison garment/orange jumpsuit..fear,anxiety,shame,guilt,sin patterns..etc that we wear.
"I realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. (ref. 2Kings25:29)" - Ch.0
why is she describing my life right now? If i am honest with myself i know that Christ has freed me and my sin no longer defines who I am. But i live as if i've been freed yet wear the "patch" the "scar" "battle wound" as a reminder "this is who you are, ashley". My jumpsuit is a combination of fear of people, shame/guilt of my past, and control. So basically i have layers of jumpsuits or one for each week haha. Do you ever feel like you have to continue to wear your jumpsuit because you deserve to be punished?
1 john 1:9 says"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
it does NOT say if we confess our sins , he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins after being punished or after you earn your forgiveness. Christ did not die on the cross so that we would continue to live as slaves. When we take our sins to the cross we leave them there, never to return to take them back or relieve them. God is able and his Cross was and is enough to take on our sin.
"i realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. but in the view of such a generous king it seems most insulting thing i could ever do is to show up at His banquet table wearing the prison garment that carried the stint of death . especially since he gave me new clothes : garments of salvation and a robe of righteousness (isa 61:10 , strength and dignity (proverbs 31:25)"
I've never thought about how "insulting" it is to God when i keep trying to take back my sin. It's as if i am saying that his life wasn't enough. It cheapens all the beating, all the blood,all the humility, all of the love that he endured on the cross. It is saying that i know what's best for me as if God and I are on the same level. Who am I to know what's best. Makes me think of Job 38:4-7 where God get's sassy..
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?"
Thankful for the reminder that i am not God and his thoughts are not my thoughts, his ways are not my ways. Even still, even in my pride, control and thoughts of saving myself.. he still initiates, pursues and invites us to his table..DAILY. what an honor, it's not a "have to" but HE wants to! Praying that i would LET God cleanse me of my sin and that i would leave it at the cross. Praying that i would TRUST God's intentions towards me and i would HONOR him rather than belittle him. Thankful that his mercies are new for my daily and he's not a grudge holder!
So my friend, what's your orange jumpsuit...and why are you still wearing it??
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Here lately..
I can't tell you how many times i have thought.. "ohh i wanna blog about that later" or "blog worthy", "when i get to my computer then i will write it ( vs. the iphone where my chubby fingers struggle to type leaving me with THE MOST auto correct "oops" that its not even worth typing)
so a double "woot woot" and throw your hands up to a new blog!!
Here lately:
* moved from apt 186 to a new house (which im in love with)
*new roomie (who screams everytime she comes home bc she loves the house so much)
*being reminded how much i LOVE hosting
*learning how to cook (thanks katherine)
*"the Lord is not slow in keeping his promises" 2 peter 3:9
*finally watched "the help" confirms two things: 1)i knew i was suppose to be black 2) i should prob write "the help- second edition" as the point of view from the nanny, it would be just as good.
*i love a good thrift store, i knew this.. but seriously its like a drug
*"we will never be good enough to impress a Holy God."-Andy Lewis (but yet i keep trying)
*Creepy old man, our next door neighbor who left this note in my garage " There will NOT be anymore nosey folks near this house never again. Pretended to be owner (hee hee) and scared the younsters away. Clemson mascot 2nd oldest dog was drugged dragged 1/3 of body now know as "miracle dog" to biblical believers." ... (no comment)
*learning to sew- dying to be good at it!
*katherine, determined to find me a book that comes alive, so much so that i lose track of time and get sad when the book ends, no more "hangout" with the characters...Finally found my "sad when it ends, book", "Orange Jumpsuit" by tara leigh cobble must read!
*one of many quotes to come from the book...
"I realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. (ref. 2Kings25:29)" - Ch.0
what are my "jumpsuits" and why do i feel the need to still wear them?
""Gospel community is impossible when you are hiding. If anyone says they love you, you doubt & despise them, since they don't really know you." Ch.20"
*"Thank you that we don’t have to mute our emotions,window-dress our stories,or doing anything to get ready for grace.Grace is for the sinner not for the competent."- Scotty smith
*Paul Tripp "Hope is not a thing, not a location, not a situation, not an experience. Hope is a person and his name is Jesus."
*"Are you snacking on spiritual things or eatting?" - Andy Lewis
* "He gives us as much as we need..but we snack for security,instead of security we become insecure and feel the need to protect it." Andy Lewis
* As a culture we dont know what it looks like to groan/long/yearn. Even Christmas what use to be something i waited and counted down till for most kids if they want a certain toy they just go get it. What does it look like to groan and long for without expectation/demands and bitterness? And then when we get it what does it look like to enjoy ______ for longer than a week or two, living as though we "deserve" it.
*Better Health whooohooo learning again what "normal" feels like... so thankful! (praying that i would enjoy the lords healing and not just go on like the last two years didn't mean anything)
*dillsboro luminaries 2011
eventually i would like to blog about each one of these points.. lets see how that goes!
so a double "woot woot" and throw your hands up to a new blog!!
Here lately:
* moved from apt 186 to a new house (which im in love with)
*new roomie (who screams everytime she comes home bc she loves the house so much)
*being reminded how much i LOVE hosting
*learning how to cook (thanks katherine)
*"the Lord is not slow in keeping his promises" 2 peter 3:9
*finally watched "the help" confirms two things: 1)i knew i was suppose to be black 2) i should prob write "the help- second edition" as the point of view from the nanny, it would be just as good.
*i love a good thrift store, i knew this.. but seriously its like a drug
*"we will never be good enough to impress a Holy God."-Andy Lewis (but yet i keep trying)
*Creepy old man, our next door neighbor who left this note in my garage " There will NOT be anymore nosey folks near this house never again. Pretended to be owner (hee hee) and scared the younsters away. Clemson mascot 2nd oldest dog was drugged dragged 1/3 of body now know as "miracle dog" to biblical believers." ... (no comment)
*learning to sew- dying to be good at it!
*katherine, determined to find me a book that comes alive, so much so that i lose track of time and get sad when the book ends, no more "hangout" with the characters...Finally found my "sad when it ends, book", "Orange Jumpsuit" by tara leigh cobble must read!
*one of many quotes to come from the book...
"I realized that it was possible to be freed from prison while still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. (ref. 2Kings25:29)" - Ch.0
what are my "jumpsuits" and why do i feel the need to still wear them?
""Gospel community is impossible when you are hiding. If anyone says they love you, you doubt & despise them, since they don't really know you." Ch.20"
*"Thank you that we don’t have to mute our emotions,window-dress our stories,or doing anything to get ready for grace.Grace is for the sinner not for the competent."- Scotty smith
*Paul Tripp "Hope is not a thing, not a location, not a situation, not an experience. Hope is a person and his name is Jesus."
*"Are you snacking on spiritual things or eatting?" - Andy Lewis
* "He gives us as much as we need..but we snack for security,instead of security we become insecure and feel the need to protect it." Andy Lewis
* As a culture we dont know what it looks like to groan/long/yearn. Even Christmas what use to be something i waited and counted down till for most kids if they want a certain toy they just go get it. What does it look like to groan and long for without expectation/demands and bitterness? And then when we get it what does it look like to enjoy ______ for longer than a week or two, living as though we "deserve" it.
*Better Health whooohooo learning again what "normal" feels like... so thankful! (praying that i would enjoy the lords healing and not just go on like the last two years didn't mean anything)
*dillsboro luminaries 2011
eventually i would like to blog about each one of these points.. lets see how that goes!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
super nanny of six
Most of you know i am a full time nanny for two different families. Three kids in both; three girls in one and 2 girls and a boy in the other. I joke that i live the life of a mom, because i do. So much so that my dad thinks i need to invest in a van... and i am not kidding. If i got a van (which i never would,i am definitely a suv kinda girl) it would scream "i'm in denial of where my life is right now." As i nanny i live by a schedule, a to do list, and love for things to be in my control. I do not need to be a mom to realize the schedule never works, i might mark off two things on the to-do list and i am never in control.
For example...Today went a little like this..
the mom has mono and moved to grandmas,
I arrived to a hyper group of girls that litterally wanted to talk all at the same time and could not sit still (thanks to the coke their dad gave them at breakfast)
we cleaned
made and played bowling
crafts
went to 4 yr old dance class
went to chickfila play place in hope to wear off what energey was left
AND THEN
came nap time for little aves. Poor girl, she so wanted to soak up every minute with her sisters on their day off of school, but was so exhausted. Screaming, fighting and clawing we made it to her room where she continued to cry. As i sat in the dark room, rocking in the chair and waiting on her to stop screaming, i started to think...
"if she would just listen, she would be better off"
"why is she trying to fight the very thing she needs...rest!"
"If she would stop crying i would hold her and rock her to sleep"
"If she would just rest it would make the rest of the day more enjoyable for her and i both."
"She is clawing at me like im her enemy but i am on her side"
The lord loves to use these teachable moments. little "ah ha's' here and there. I started to realize avery's posture towards me (fists up,claws out and kicking legs) is often how i live life towards God. He desires to give me the things i need..to pull away and rest, to hold and comfort me, and show me i am better off if i would just listen. Avery was so much more exhausted after the half an hour screaming fest. She was fighting and pushing away good things but acted as if..
i was taking away something good
i was a kill joy
she would miss out
she was getting punished
she knew what was best for her
kicking and fighting would be the answer
she was in control
she doesn't need rest
i was her enemy
i was the cause of her problems
fighting= i am get my way
I hate to say it but i act just like that, 25 year old with 2 year old actions and responses. Sure i have controlled the outward actions to look "prettier" than that, but the outcome is the same.
Pride.
i want, what i want, when i want it,
the end.
In moments like those in the dark room, rocking chair and a screaming baby i can easily get overwhelmed and frustrated. But afterwards the love i have for this sweet girl is still the same. I do not hold it against her, or keep a record of wrongs, at the end of the day i still want the best for her.
So thankful that this is what the Lord is impressing on my heart.
His charter that he...
does not keep records
he does not get frustrated because i kick and scream rather than listen to him
He is not a kill joy, nor does he rob me of good things
He is on my side
he is for my good
this is his best for me
He is all knowing and i am not.
there is not a point to which he gives up on me
He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love (something i can not wrap my mind around)
He is such a compassionate, patient and gentle teacher
He does not fight back but embraces us with a hug
He is never caught of guard
He is never prideful, wanting to prove he is right and i am wrong
What a day..
and this is where the Lord has me..
super nanny of six
learning from two year olds..
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Orange jumpsuit
So excited to stumble across this book that comes out in november by Tara leigh cobble, a young writer that recently moved from NYC to Greenville, SC!
tinyurl.com/orangejumpsuit
"A few months ago, I came across a passage in the Old Testament that never would have caught my eye, but God screamed it off the page in His bold font voice.
“So Jehoiachin put off his prison garments. And every day of his life he dined regularly at the king’s table.” – 2 Kings 25:29
Those words awakened something in me, because I realized: that is my life story. And it’s your life story too, if you know Jesus. He ransomed us from prison. He seated us at His table.
I meditated on the verse for a while.
What are my prison garments?
The ones I’m most aware of are fear, shame, unbelief, regret, control, abrasiveness, mistrust of Your character, specific sin patterns.
And what does it mean to dine regularly at the King’s table?
It means that I have Your provision, Your protection. I’m associated with You. I have intimacy with You because I’m with You every day. It means I’m not in control, because You’re the King, so You’ve got the power. But I don’t have to worry about anything because You like me and want me there—a King would never offer an infinite invitation to someone He didn’t want around. That also means Your feelings toward me are fixed and unchanging. For all these reasons, I should rest secure, with peace in my heart and mind.
I realized that I could be freed from prison but still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. But in view of such a generous King, it seems the most insulting thing I could ever do would be to show up at His banquet table, wearing prison garments that carried the stench of death. Especially since He gave me new clothes: garments of salvation and a robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10), strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25).
This is the story of shaking off my orange jumpsuit. Repeatedly. And sitting to dine with the King."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
tinyurl.com/orangejumpsuit
"A few months ago, I came across a passage in the Old Testament that never would have caught my eye, but God screamed it off the page in His bold font voice.
“So Jehoiachin put off his prison garments. And every day of his life he dined regularly at the king’s table.” – 2 Kings 25:29
Those words awakened something in me, because I realized: that is my life story. And it’s your life story too, if you know Jesus. He ransomed us from prison. He seated us at His table.
I meditated on the verse for a while.
What are my prison garments?
The ones I’m most aware of are fear, shame, unbelief, regret, control, abrasiveness, mistrust of Your character, specific sin patterns.
And what does it mean to dine regularly at the King’s table?
It means that I have Your provision, Your protection. I’m associated with You. I have intimacy with You because I’m with You every day. It means I’m not in control, because You’re the King, so You’ve got the power. But I don’t have to worry about anything because You like me and want me there—a King would never offer an infinite invitation to someone He didn’t want around. That also means Your feelings toward me are fixed and unchanging. For all these reasons, I should rest secure, with peace in my heart and mind.
I realized that I could be freed from prison but still walking through life in my orange jumpsuit. But in view of such a generous King, it seems the most insulting thing I could ever do would be to show up at His banquet table, wearing prison garments that carried the stench of death. Especially since He gave me new clothes: garments of salvation and a robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10), strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25).
This is the story of shaking off my orange jumpsuit. Repeatedly. And sitting to dine with the King."
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, August 22, 2011
8/22/10
"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer, for he said, "Till now the Lord has helped us."
friend's blog:"You are in a season of recovery and in this season everything is sensitive and you are in process. This is part of your experience and effects who u are but doesn't define you. The truth is you are growing and that is a tough process. I encourage you to look back on your Ebenezers and let it lead you to worship in place of anxiety." Profound. But, what was Ebenezer?
I was actually embarrassed I didn't know who or what she meant by "Ebenezer." So, I went straight to my bible and looked up "Ebenezer." I went to 1 Samuel and read this passage. Warren Wiersbe explains in his commentary that Ebenezer means "stone of help." It was a memorial to God's helping His people from the beginning to that very day. Missionary J. Hudson Taylor had a plaque in his home that read, EBENEZER and JEHOVAH-JIREH. That means, "Thus far the Lord has helped us-The Lord will see to it." This takes care of the past and the future, so why worry about the present? God is in control!"- friend's blog
I was actually embarrassed I didn't know who or what she meant by "Ebenezer." So, I went straight to my bible and looked up "Ebenezer." I went to 1 Samuel and read this passage. Warren Wiersbe explains in his commentary that Ebenezer means "stone of help." It was a memorial to God's helping His people from the beginning to that very day. Missionary J. Hudson Taylor had a plaque in his home that read, EBENEZER and JEHOVAH-JIREH. That means, "Thus far the Lord has helped us-The Lord will see to it." This takes care of the past and the future, so why worry about the present? God is in control!"- friend's blog
My Ebenezer is not what i thought mine would be. When i think of a stone/ or symbol to help me remember that God is faithful, i want it to be something so pretty and worthwhile to look at. A statue, or article of clothing with a cool meaning behind it. A picture or something someone once gave me. But for me, my Ebenezer is a date in time. 8/22/10 to be exact. You see this day was one that besides coming to Jesus as my Lord and Savior was a day my life would change forever.
This date though is not pretty like a wedding date, or fun birthday.
This was a day that i tasted a new kind of freedom, freedom that i did not know i needed or that i did not have. This was the day i started to realize that sin does not affect just one part of your life but overflows into your thought life,ways you view yourself, your relationships with friends and family, how you worship and have communion with the Lord. This was the day that i started to see forgiveness in a new light. This was the day that i realized love is not always conditional. This was the day that the gospel came to life through others around me. This was the day that i was reminded i am not my own. This was the day God showed himself as faithful to not leave me stuck in my sin. This was the day that i could not predict. This was the day i put to death all the lies, secrets, and need to control. This was the day i stopped settling for satans tempting schemes. This is the day the cross and what it represents took over. This was the day that punishment and discipline were given new meanings. This was the day i accepted that its ok to be me and not what i think i should be.This was the day the mask came off.
This was the day that began a year of confession, new beginnings, lots of tears and learning who i really am. A year of...
"is this my plan b",
"what is God doing with me",
"will things ever be "normal" again??"
This was a year of resting and receiving, pulling back, not always talking but listening.
As i "raise my Ebeneezer" i think of my "valley of anchor" turning into a "door of hope".
8/22/10
reminds me that God loves me so much he would not let me settle, God is not done with me, there is nothing i can add or take away from his gospel, there is never a point that he is so disappointed he gives up. God is for me not against me and if he could use a weak,messy sinner like me and bring beauty from these ashes I can't wait to see what he has for this next season of life.
I have a thankful heart a year later. To see how much the lord is pruning me and restoring brokenness in my life. He works all things for the Good. ALL THINGS.
EBENEZER and JEHOVAH-JIREH.
"Thus far the Lord has helped us-The Lord will see to it."
Amen Amen
Thursday, April 14, 2011
"faithful God,every promise kept"
If you do not have laura story's new cd, you lose.
My favorites so far:
blessings
faithful God
what a savior
What a Savior:
"Atoning sacrifice
Keeper of this life
Hallelujah You are savior
Beginning and the end
Forgiver of my sin
By Your mercy You have saved us "
"Faithful God, every promise kept
Every need You’ve met, Faithful God
All I am and all I’ll ever be
Is all because You love faithfully
Faithful God"- laura story
Laura story concert
May 1st Mitchell Road Pres church
5:30 fellowship hall
Let me know if you're interested!!!
My favorites so far:
blessings
faithful God
what a savior
What a Savior:
"Atoning sacrifice
Keeper of this life
Hallelujah You are savior
Beginning and the end
Forgiver of my sin
By Your mercy You have saved us "
"Faithful God, every promise kept
Every need You’ve met, Faithful God
All I am and all I’ll ever be
Is all because You love faithfully
Faithful God"- laura story
Laura story concert
May 1st Mitchell Road Pres church
5:30 fellowship hall
Let me know if you're interested!!!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
May all your expectations be frustrated..
"May all your expectations be frustrated;
May all your plans be thwarted,
May all your desires be withered into nothingness
so that you may experience
the poverty and powerlessness of a child..
the poverty and powerlessness of a child..
And sing and dance in the
great compassionate heart of God" - Larry Hines
great compassionate heart of God" - Larry Hines
Thank you Lord
that i got to experience your wild hope for me,
that i got to experience your wild hope for me,
When everything i thought i needed was taken away...
leaving me vulnerable,naked, and exposed
it was there Christ met me,embraced me, and whispered
"This is the Ashley i love and cherish"
Help me never to forget it's not my resume or the perfected me you are after
but the broken and contrite heart
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
"Give Me Faith" - Elevation Worship
I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You're shaping my life
All I am,
I surrender
Give me faith to trust what you say
That you're good and your love is great
I'm broken inside, I give you my life
I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me
I may be weak
Your spirit strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will
Monday, March 21, 2011
Revelation 22:17, “Let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.”
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/the-tragic-cost-of-her-cavernous-thirst#/listen/full
So keep your eyes on two things: Who is this man, Jesus? And who are we, as we see ourselves in this woman?
Then comes a stunning twist in verse 16—seemingly out of the blue.
Now that seems very incidental. It might be. It wouldn’t have even stuck out to me except that these are the same word in Greek (enthade), and it is only used in John here in these two places. Could it be that when Jesus hears her say, “I don’t want to come here every day,” that he detects something in her voice more than the inconvenience of drawing water? Does he hear: I don’t like coming out in public like this? If I could avoid this scene every day, I would be very glad.
In fact, Jesus knows there is something in her life that makes it painful for her to come to the place where all the women gather and talk. So he means something like: “You don’t like to come here? You feel conspicuous. Vulnerable. Perhaps, you should bring your husband with you. He could stand with you and protect you, and you could be proud of him like an elder at the city gates.”
So the first clue why he may have gone in this direction is what Jesus may have heard in the word “here.” “I’ll take your living water so I don’t have to come here every day.”
He is moving into her inner life. He is forcing her to deal with the inside—the secret places—of her life. The living water that he had offered is for the inner person. This is not water you drink with your mouth; it’s water you drink with your heart. He was dealing with her deep, inner life and need, and she wouldn’t let him. It may be that she couldn’t go there. It was locked and sealed. So he puts a prophetic key in this door.
Too Painful and Too Dirty
Do you recall what Jesus said in John 3:20? “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” She cannot open herself to the living water because her inner life is locked up against everything that might expose it. It is too painful and too dirty.
Jesus knows that her blindness and hardness to the inner spiritual meaning of living water is compounded by the effect of years of sexual and relational sin. So he is intentionally exposing her inner life. God means to have this woman as a worshiper in spirit and truth. But in her present condition, she doesn’t even have a living spirit. She is dead and hard and blind. And Jesus understands this condition perfectly. He will not stay on the surface of things.
What Small Groups Are For
This, by the way, is what small groups are for in the church. I can preach, and God often opens hearts to the gospel through preaching. But I can’t come down from the pulpit for everyone of you and say, “Go, bring your husband.” But you can. Or you could speak a hundred other prophetically penetrating applications of the sermon. If you seek the wisdom and the gifts and the power of the Holy Spirit, this is what will happen in our small groups. Would you partner with me in this way? The elders and I need your help to shepherd this flock.
Jesus never comes back to this issue of her adultery. He doesn’t go anywhere with it. This means that he didn’t bring it up to get closure. He didn’t bring it up to condemn her. He didn’t bring it up to rehearse the details. He brought it up to expose the thirst that she doesn’t even know she has.
Her Cavernous Void
He had offered her living water—water that if she drank it in her heart by faith would become a well of water springing up to eternal life and joy and satisfaction. This water is for her soul, not her body. It’s her soul that’s thirsty. And she doesn’t know it. So Jesus is going to show her.
No woman goes through sexual relationships with six men without either starting desperately thirsty or ending desperately thirsty. What happened with these six relationships? Five marriages! Five! There is in this woman, it seems, a cavernous void of longing, thirsting. Either she can’t find in a man what she craves—and so moves from the one to the other, desperately believing men are the water she is thirsty for—or they can’t find what they are craving in her and one after the other drops her. Or both. In either case, she is left with a deep, deep emptiness and sinfulness that is so painful and so rebellious that she seals it up. And there is no entrance to her heart at all. It is locked in darkness. That is what Jesus knows. And so he moves into that inner darkness.
Learning About Jesus—And Ourselves
Here we are learning about Jesus, and we are learning about ourselves. He is compassionate and aggressive and surgical and relentless in his love. He knows all your past and all your present. Nothing is hidden from him. One person in the universe knows you completely—the most important person. He is indeed a prophet, and more than a prophet, as we will see more clearly next week.
And you are meeting yourself in this woman. One of the evidences that we have not drunk the water of life, or that we are quenching its spring, is that we are unstable like this woman, and always moving from one thing to the next seeking to fill the void that Jesus promises to fill.
Movement in Life: Faith or Frustration?
You may move through sexual partners, like she did, or through friends, or jobs, or churches, or hobbies, or hairstyles, or wardrobes, or cars, or locations. Never able to settle with a kind of deeply contented identity in Christ, satisfied daily with the ever-springing water of his fellowship.
I don’t mean that the Christian life is static. But there is a difference between the confident movement of faith and the craving movement of frustration. On the one hand, there is restless movement from one thing to the next because we have no solid, satisfied identity in Christ. And on the other hand, we have Christ as our Fountain of life and we move with purposefulness and creativity in the life and power that this living water gives. There is a difference between the jumping from one thing to the next out of frustration and the moving purposefully out of faith.
Jesus is teaching us about ourselves as well as about his glorious sufficiency as water, prophet, savior, and Messiah.
I find that very strange at first glance. What is he doing? Sandwiched between “You are right” in verse 17 and “What you have said is true” in verse 18 is a statement that is devious. She is using the truth to hide something. “I have no husband.” Jesus says, “You have spoken well in saying you have no husband. You’ve had five. And you are right, you don’t have a husband, but you are living with a man, and he is not your husband.” You really know how to use the truth to mislead people.
I think this is irony. “Well said. You are a real truth-teller.” What is being exposed here is something that almost always goes hand in hand with secret sin, namely, a devious, subtle, manipulation of language to conceal the truth by saying true things. Devious people don’t usually lie. It’s too risky. They deceive by the way they use the truth.
Deviousness in Our Day
This is incredibly prevalent in our own day. Some people know they are doing it, and others are so conformed to the spirit of the age that they don’t know they are doing it—and may not even know there is such a thing as a use of language that has integrity (2 Corinthians 2:17; 4:2). People that don’t have a deep, secure, satisfied, rest of soul in the living water of Jesus’ holy fellowship tend to slide toward subtle uses of language designed to cloud truth with words, even true words.
What Sin Does to the Heart and Mind
Jesus is not only exposing this woman’s cavernous thirst, which she is trying to satisfy with men; he is also exposing some of the subtle devices she has developed to hide the truth, even from herself. She doesn’t know that her need is for Jesus.
In fact, it’s this slippery use of language that creates the transition to the next section in this text and the next part of this story. We’ll save the rest of this text for next time, but we need to see the transition because of how it continues to illuminate what sin does to the heart and mind—and how wise and compassionate and relentless Jesus is.
The woman says in verses 19–20, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you [plural, that is, Jews] say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.”
Chewing off a Leg
An animal will chew off his own leg to escape from a trap. And a trapped sinner, about to be exposed, will mangle her own reason to escape: “Jesus, as long as we on the subject of my adultery, where do you think we should worship, this mountain or Jerusalem?”
How many times have you been trying to explain to someone about how Jesus died for sinners and rose again to provide forgiveness and reconciliation and have the persons say, “What about the hate speech of right-wing fanatics?” Or “What about gay rights?” Or “What about the people who have never heard about Jesus?”
The remarkable thing about Jesus here is that he does not say, “Let’s stay on the subject, ma’am. We are talking about your adultery.” But neither does he let her define exactly where they are going next.
To Her Topic—But Not Her Issue
Jesus is willing to go with her to her topic, but not to her issue. Her issue is: Where do we worship? Her whole life is one of externals. She is dead on the inside, and all she can relate to now are superficial externals. Her distracting question only deals with geography (verse 20): “Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.”
Jesus won’t deal at that level. He has gone into her heart, and that is what he will deal with. Verse 21: Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father.” In other words, “We are at a juncture in history when the place of worship will simply be irrelevant.” Verse 23: “The hour is coming, and is now here [because I am here!], when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.” The issue is not in this mountain or that mountain, but spirit and truth.
What you need, ma’am, is a spirit that is alive and a mind in love with truth.
But more on that next week.
Jesus is after her. He intends to break through and give life and light in the core of her being. And he is pursuing that with you as well. Has he awakened you by his word and his Spirit to see your own need? Do you see the addictive substitutes that keep you from drinking the living water?
I say with Revelation 22:17, “Let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.”
Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” 19 The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” 21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” 26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”There is something true about the whole Bible that is especially true about the Gospel of John. God’s design in the Bible is that we come to know him and that we come to know ourselves. In John’s Gospel—especially in this story of the woman at the well—we see Jesus revealing his greatness, and we learn about ourselves from this woman. And what we learn about ourselves is some of the subtle reasons why our understanding and love for Jesus is so small. And the reason he exposes our sin in this way is to help us see our great need, and how he alone can meet it.
So keep your eyes on two things: Who is this man, Jesus? And who are we, as we see ourselves in this woman?
Wild Goose Chase
It seems at one level like she is leading Jesus on a wild goose chase from one issue to the next. It is a chase. But she’s not a wild goose but a destined worshipper, and Jesus is not confused or lost. He knows what he is doing. There is a progression in this passage.- In verses 1–15, Jesus is the living water.
- In verses 16–19, Jesus is the prophet.
- In verses 20–24, Jesus is the Savior who makes true spiritual worship possible
- In verses 25–26, Jesus is the Messiah.
Out of the Blue
Last time we looked at verses 1–15 where Jesus said in verse 10 that he has living water to give to this woman. She is like Nicodemus and doesn’t see the spiritual meaning of what he says. So in verse 15 she says, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water” (John 4:15). All that this water means to her is that it would save her the trouble of coming to the well in the heat of the day.Then comes a stunning twist in verse 16—seemingly out of the blue.
Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. (verses 16–19)So we move from Jesus, revealed in verses 1–15 as the living water, to Jesus revealed in verses 16–19 as a prophet—at least that’s as far as she can go in explaining what Jesus had just said. He knows her public past, and he knows her secret present. Verse 18: “You have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.”
Jesus Takes a Different Angle
The most natural question to ask is: Why did Jesus leave the imagery of living water and move so abruptly to say in verse 16, “Go call your husband, and come here”? He never returns to the image of living water. He has made that point. For now it produced nothing. He comes to her now from a very different angle. Why this angle?1) Here, Here
Consider a few clues. Notice the word “here” near the end of verse 15 and at the end of verse 16. Verse 15: “Give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Verse 16: “Go, call your husband, and come here.”Now that seems very incidental. It might be. It wouldn’t have even stuck out to me except that these are the same word in Greek (enthade), and it is only used in John here in these two places. Could it be that when Jesus hears her say, “I don’t want to come here every day,” that he detects something in her voice more than the inconvenience of drawing water? Does he hear: I don’t like coming out in public like this? If I could avoid this scene every day, I would be very glad.
In fact, Jesus knows there is something in her life that makes it painful for her to come to the place where all the women gather and talk. So he means something like: “You don’t like to come here? You feel conspicuous. Vulnerable. Perhaps, you should bring your husband with you. He could stand with you and protect you, and you could be proud of him like an elder at the city gates.”
So the first clue why he may have gone in this direction is what Jesus may have heard in the word “here.” “I’ll take your living water so I don’t have to come here every day.”
2) Jesus Already Knew
The second clue why Jesus may have taken this turn is the fact that he knew already that she did not have a husband and was living with her boyfriend. Verse 18: “The one you now have is not your husband.” He knew that when he asked her to go get her husband. That means Jesus is intentionally exposing her sin. Not to everybody at the well, but to herself and to him.He is moving into her inner life. He is forcing her to deal with the inside—the secret places—of her life. The living water that he had offered is for the inner person. This is not water you drink with your mouth; it’s water you drink with your heart. He was dealing with her deep, inner life and need, and she wouldn’t let him. It may be that she couldn’t go there. It was locked and sealed. So he puts a prophetic key in this door.
Too Painful and Too Dirty
Do you recall what Jesus said in John 3:20? “For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” She cannot open herself to the living water because her inner life is locked up against everything that might expose it. It is too painful and too dirty.
Jesus knows that her blindness and hardness to the inner spiritual meaning of living water is compounded by the effect of years of sexual and relational sin. So he is intentionally exposing her inner life. God means to have this woman as a worshiper in spirit and truth. But in her present condition, she doesn’t even have a living spirit. She is dead and hard and blind. And Jesus understands this condition perfectly. He will not stay on the surface of things.
What Small Groups Are For
This, by the way, is what small groups are for in the church. I can preach, and God often opens hearts to the gospel through preaching. But I can’t come down from the pulpit for everyone of you and say, “Go, bring your husband.” But you can. Or you could speak a hundred other prophetically penetrating applications of the sermon. If you seek the wisdom and the gifts and the power of the Holy Spirit, this is what will happen in our small groups. Would you partner with me in this way? The elders and I need your help to shepherd this flock.
3) To Expose Her Thirst
Here’s a third clue as to why Jesus took the turn he did from living water to “Go get your husband.” There is no follow-through on this issue. He exposes her sin in verse 17–18, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.” She says in verse 19, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet.” And then she changes the subject to worship.Jesus never comes back to this issue of her adultery. He doesn’t go anywhere with it. This means that he didn’t bring it up to get closure. He didn’t bring it up to condemn her. He didn’t bring it up to rehearse the details. He brought it up to expose the thirst that she doesn’t even know she has.
Her Cavernous Void
He had offered her living water—water that if she drank it in her heart by faith would become a well of water springing up to eternal life and joy and satisfaction. This water is for her soul, not her body. It’s her soul that’s thirsty. And she doesn’t know it. So Jesus is going to show her.
No woman goes through sexual relationships with six men without either starting desperately thirsty or ending desperately thirsty. What happened with these six relationships? Five marriages! Five! There is in this woman, it seems, a cavernous void of longing, thirsting. Either she can’t find in a man what she craves—and so moves from the one to the other, desperately believing men are the water she is thirsty for—or they can’t find what they are craving in her and one after the other drops her. Or both. In either case, she is left with a deep, deep emptiness and sinfulness that is so painful and so rebellious that she seals it up. And there is no entrance to her heart at all. It is locked in darkness. That is what Jesus knows. And so he moves into that inner darkness.
Learning About Jesus—And Ourselves
Here we are learning about Jesus, and we are learning about ourselves. He is compassionate and aggressive and surgical and relentless in his love. He knows all your past and all your present. Nothing is hidden from him. One person in the universe knows you completely—the most important person. He is indeed a prophet, and more than a prophet, as we will see more clearly next week.
And you are meeting yourself in this woman. One of the evidences that we have not drunk the water of life, or that we are quenching its spring, is that we are unstable like this woman, and always moving from one thing to the next seeking to fill the void that Jesus promises to fill.
Movement in Life: Faith or Frustration?
You may move through sexual partners, like she did, or through friends, or jobs, or churches, or hobbies, or hairstyles, or wardrobes, or cars, or locations. Never able to settle with a kind of deeply contented identity in Christ, satisfied daily with the ever-springing water of his fellowship.
I don’t mean that the Christian life is static. But there is a difference between the confident movement of faith and the craving movement of frustration. On the one hand, there is restless movement from one thing to the next because we have no solid, satisfied identity in Christ. And on the other hand, we have Christ as our Fountain of life and we move with purposefulness and creativity in the life and power that this living water gives. There is a difference between the jumping from one thing to the next out of frustration and the moving purposefully out of faith.
Jesus is teaching us about ourselves as well as about his glorious sufficiency as water, prophet, savior, and Messiah.
4) Jesus Employs Irony
Here is one more clue, the fourth, as to why Jesus took the direction he did in asking about her husband. Does it surprise you that Jesus says not just once, but twice, that the woman has spoken the truth. Verses 17–18: “The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right [or well] in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”I find that very strange at first glance. What is he doing? Sandwiched between “You are right” in verse 17 and “What you have said is true” in verse 18 is a statement that is devious. She is using the truth to hide something. “I have no husband.” Jesus says, “You have spoken well in saying you have no husband. You’ve had five. And you are right, you don’t have a husband, but you are living with a man, and he is not your husband.” You really know how to use the truth to mislead people.
I think this is irony. “Well said. You are a real truth-teller.” What is being exposed here is something that almost always goes hand in hand with secret sin, namely, a devious, subtle, manipulation of language to conceal the truth by saying true things. Devious people don’t usually lie. It’s too risky. They deceive by the way they use the truth.
Deviousness in Our Day
This is incredibly prevalent in our own day. Some people know they are doing it, and others are so conformed to the spirit of the age that they don’t know they are doing it—and may not even know there is such a thing as a use of language that has integrity (2 Corinthians 2:17; 4:2). People that don’t have a deep, secure, satisfied, rest of soul in the living water of Jesus’ holy fellowship tend to slide toward subtle uses of language designed to cloud truth with words, even true words.
What Sin Does to the Heart and Mind
Jesus is not only exposing this woman’s cavernous thirst, which she is trying to satisfy with men; he is also exposing some of the subtle devices she has developed to hide the truth, even from herself. She doesn’t know that her need is for Jesus.
In fact, it’s this slippery use of language that creates the transition to the next section in this text and the next part of this story. We’ll save the rest of this text for next time, but we need to see the transition because of how it continues to illuminate what sin does to the heart and mind—and how wise and compassionate and relentless Jesus is.
The woman says in verses 19–20, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you [plural, that is, Jews] say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.”
Chewing off a Leg
An animal will chew off his own leg to escape from a trap. And a trapped sinner, about to be exposed, will mangle her own reason to escape: “Jesus, as long as we on the subject of my adultery, where do you think we should worship, this mountain or Jerusalem?”
How many times have you been trying to explain to someone about how Jesus died for sinners and rose again to provide forgiveness and reconciliation and have the persons say, “What about the hate speech of right-wing fanatics?” Or “What about gay rights?” Or “What about the people who have never heard about Jesus?”
The remarkable thing about Jesus here is that he does not say, “Let’s stay on the subject, ma’am. We are talking about your adultery.” But neither does he let her define exactly where they are going next.
To Her Topic—But Not Her Issue
Jesus is willing to go with her to her topic, but not to her issue. Her issue is: Where do we worship? Her whole life is one of externals. She is dead on the inside, and all she can relate to now are superficial externals. Her distracting question only deals with geography (verse 20): “Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.”
Jesus won’t deal at that level. He has gone into her heart, and that is what he will deal with. Verse 21: Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father.” In other words, “We are at a juncture in history when the place of worship will simply be irrelevant.” Verse 23: “The hour is coming, and is now here [because I am here!], when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.” The issue is not in this mountain or that mountain, but spirit and truth.
What you need, ma’am, is a spirit that is alive and a mind in love with truth.
But more on that next week.
Jesus Is After Her—And You
What we have seen today mainly through the penetrating words of this prophet, who is more than a prophet, is that the reason this woman cannot grasp the living water that Jesus is offering is that she cannot see the cavernous thirst in her own soul for Jesus. She is desperately trying to fill up the void by moving from one man to the next and, in the process, is becoming more and more hard and blind to her own real need—the need for living water, for Jesus.Jesus is after her. He intends to break through and give life and light in the core of her being. And he is pursuing that with you as well. Has he awakened you by his word and his Spirit to see your own need? Do you see the addictive substitutes that keep you from drinking the living water?
I say with Revelation 22:17, “Let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.”
Friday, March 4, 2011
March 3,2011
Happy Birthday Mammaw!
I miss you...really really miss you!!
i miss your..
cinnamon toast
worlds famous mac and cheese
living with you during furniture market 2x a year
going to cherry grove every summer
the way you always blamed everything on pappaw
you and pappaw going dancing
your stories
the way you loved people
your marriage
you acting like all your friends were old but you werent
your love for God
your perfume
your love for oprah and dr.phil
always rearranging a room in your house
your love for a good tan
how much you love your children and grandchildren
the way you saw the good in people
your laugh
the time you fell asleep during dinner but managed to say "don't forget my senior citizen discount"
the ways you loved me for me
your love for puzzles
i always think about you when it snows, and ive learned how to make a good cinnamon toast for the girls i nanny. you would be proud! Went dancing last weekend and thought you would be ready to give me some lessons after that haha. The family meets every tuesday for dinner since youve been gone and that has kept everyone close. You manage to still make that happen even from Heaven. i think about you often and keep thinking one day you will just show up. But until then..
Happy Birthday Mammaw so thankful for your life.
I Pray that i will be a Carlene in someones life like you were in mine.
Love you
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Not sure what to even name this blog...
25 things you still struggle with as you turn 25 years old?
25 reasons you are not married.. haha totally kidding.
25 Baby steps?
25 Reasons Jesus loves me and is committed to saving me from myself?
25 ways God is kicking my ass
...Probably a little extreme...
This is me collecting A LOT of thoughts,from various places,which have a huge impact on my life, in the last month. (missions conference,blogs, sermons, and the Word)
1)The peace of God is more than a flimsy feeling of peace. It is a knowing, a settled confidence in the sovereign goodness of God that will guard against all anxious feelings. c.mahaney
2)Do you live like God has forgotten about you?
3)There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control. There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)
4)It is not our gifts that win the day, it is Christ love." -Skip Ryan
5)"Not only will He never leave you--that's the negative side of the promise--but He cares for you. He is not just there with you. He cares for you. His care is constant--not occasional or sporadic. His care is total--even the very hairs of your head are numbered. His care is sovereign--nothing can touch you that He does not allow. His care is infinitely wise and good so that again in the words of John Newton, 'If it were possible for me to alter any part of his plan, I could only spoil it.'"--Jerry Bridges, Trusting God, p.199.
6)Operate out of love, not fear.
7)Am I enjoying my life, my family, the good gifts He has given me or am I spending all my time worrying about achieving, measuring up, controlling...
8)Do you feel fine doing it all on your own?
9)"try to go on your own strength and then ask yourself the question, how's that workin for ya?"-Skip Ryans
10) picture Jesus with you right now
11) What is a ruling desire in your life?
12)"I no longer care what people think about me, it's what i think people are thinking of me that will eventually kill me." -Skip Ryan
13) is your cross big enough for me?
14) Do you really believe God is the true source of hope. He is completely trustworthy in his control?
15) Do you think God is serious about your sin?
16)He is a savior do you live like you need that everyday?
17)Do you think the best thing for you is to “die to yourself”?
18)"don't hide your wounds, Jesus didn't. When we see him one day we will see him with his wounds. i'm called not to be a pca minister, im called to be a man with scares and out of that who knows what the Lord will do." -Skip Ryan
19) what does it look like for me to live out of my scares, my weaknesses rather than my achievements and gifts?
20) DO you reduce God to measurable terms?
21) Repentance leads to Life
22) Jesus loves me and is committed to saving me from myself
23)I So often feel like God is waiting for the future Me, and until then "I could do better".. when really he loves me for who and what i am now.
24) " I can only be a free person when I am not operating on the slavery of your expectations of who I am." -Skip Ryan
25) "Maybe the lord will send you to bunka bunka land. I would rather be in bunka bunka land living in the love of Jesus than in Grenville,SC living out of my own ability to run my life, with a little Jesus on top."
Praying for this mindset..James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. "
Perseverance..The theme of this year "it's a process"
25 reasons you are not married.. haha totally kidding.
25 Baby steps?
25 Reasons Jesus loves me and is committed to saving me from myself?
25 ways God is kicking my ass
...Probably a little extreme...
This is me collecting A LOT of thoughts,from various places,which have a huge impact on my life, in the last month. (missions conference,blogs, sermons, and the Word)
1)The peace of God is more than a flimsy feeling of peace. It is a knowing, a settled confidence in the sovereign goodness of God that will guard against all anxious feelings. c.mahaney
2)Do you live like God has forgotten about you?
3)There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control. There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)
4)It is not our gifts that win the day, it is Christ love." -Skip Ryan
5)"Not only will He never leave you--that's the negative side of the promise--but He cares for you. He is not just there with you. He cares for you. His care is constant--not occasional or sporadic. His care is total--even the very hairs of your head are numbered. His care is sovereign--nothing can touch you that He does not allow. His care is infinitely wise and good so that again in the words of John Newton, 'If it were possible for me to alter any part of his plan, I could only spoil it.'"--Jerry Bridges, Trusting God, p.199.
6)Operate out of love, not fear.
7)Am I enjoying my life, my family, the good gifts He has given me or am I spending all my time worrying about achieving, measuring up, controlling...
8)Do you feel fine doing it all on your own?
9)"try to go on your own strength and then ask yourself the question, how's that workin for ya?"-Skip Ryans
10) picture Jesus with you right now
11) What is a ruling desire in your life?
12)"I no longer care what people think about me, it's what i think people are thinking of me that will eventually kill me." -Skip Ryan
13) is your cross big enough for me?
14) Do you really believe God is the true source of hope. He is completely trustworthy in his control?
15) Do you think God is serious about your sin?
16)He is a savior do you live like you need that everyday?
17)Do you think the best thing for you is to “die to yourself”?
18)"don't hide your wounds, Jesus didn't. When we see him one day we will see him with his wounds. i'm called not to be a pca minister, im called to be a man with scares and out of that who knows what the Lord will do." -Skip Ryan
19) what does it look like for me to live out of my scares, my weaknesses rather than my achievements and gifts?
20) DO you reduce God to measurable terms?
21) Repentance leads to Life
22) Jesus loves me and is committed to saving me from myself
23)I So often feel like God is waiting for the future Me, and until then "I could do better".. when really he loves me for who and what i am now.
24) " I can only be a free person when I am not operating on the slavery of your expectations of who I am." -Skip Ryan
25) "Maybe the lord will send you to bunka bunka land. I would rather be in bunka bunka land living in the love of Jesus than in Grenville,SC living out of my own ability to run my life, with a little Jesus on top."
Praying for this mindset..James 1:2-4
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. "
Perseverance..The theme of this year "it's a process"
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Post by David Powlison
In a single phrase, the first two words characterizing love in 1 Corinthians 13:4 can be expressed this way: Love is in it for good.
Love is in it for good: patient. God is committed for as long as it takes, whatever is going on, however slow the process. He bears with us purposefully, intentionally, through all time. In his great patience, he will complete what he has begun, to his glory and our joy.
Love is in it for good: kind. God freely gives every good gift, doing and saying what is helpful, always constructive, always merciful, always generous. He gives more grace. He gives what is needed. In his great kindness, he will complete what he has begun, to our glory and his joy.
God is love, therefore God is patience and God is kindness. And of course, since every promise of God is Yes in the Son of God, this Jesus is patience and is kindness. Love walked among us, taking on flesh, tempted as we are yet without sin, touched with the feeling of our infirmities, dealing gently with the ignorant and wayward.
Such love is a communicable attribute of God. This means that in taking us on—often impatient, often unkind—and making us over into the image of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit will make us patient and kind. He will teach us to become in-it-for-good with other people, amid the ups, the downs, the vicissitudes, the exigencies. This is the life-long goal of Christian ministry: “love, that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5).
The fuller Old Testament equivalent to 1 Corinthians 13:4 had already been revealed on Sinai:
The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger [in the Greek, "patient"], abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin. (Exodus 34:6–7a)He is in it for good with all who take this revelation to heart as God’s great gift of himself, as our greatest need, as the goal of our moral transformation. (And this God will justly destroy intransigent iniquity, all that spurns such a gift, denies such a need, refuses such a goal—Exodus 34:7b.)
It is striking that when revealing his glory and goodness, the LORD chooses to show forth communicable attributes. He could have mentioned his omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, self-existence, eternity, things infinitely beyond the creature. But he chose to reveal his mercy, what is within our comprehension, within our experience, within our grasp, by grace. We, too, learn to become merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, forgiving. (And we, too, learn to justly hate what is evil.)
What we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. He is in it for good, and so are we.
Monday, February 28, 2011
C.Mahaney Blog
That song has been stuck in my head for months, but it keeps coming back as I read my friend, Elyse Fitzpatrick's book, Comforts from the Cross. The women of my community group are studying this book together and it keeps pointing me back to the majesty of the Son and why it is our love for Jesus that propels us into gospel obedience and, consequently, fruitful lives. The book is shaped as a month-long daily devotional that focuses us on different verses that provide comforting truths. On day 11, Elyse focused on Hebrews 10:14: "For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." Unpacking that verse, Elyse wrote this meditation, which I've excerpted:
The book of Hebrews was written primarily to, well, the Hebrews, people who were familiar with the demands, ceremonies, and sacrifices of the Jewish temple system. In that system offerings and sacrifices had to be made over and over again, since the blood of mere animals, though commanded by the Lord, could only cover sin, never remove it. The blood of bulls and goats could not atone for the sin that permeated the heart of the human lawbreaker. ...
You have got to get an idea of the shock the early believers would have felt upon reading those words. Perfected for all time? How could those words be uttered about anyone? They knew full well the sacrifices required to atone for sin: a young bird, a goat, a bull, a spotless lamb. They were well aware that their sins weren't some minor blemish but were serious enough that a living creature had to suffer and die. This wasn't merely a philosophical or theological persuasion. For their unbelief, warm blood streamed onto sticky stone; because of their covetousness, animals cried out in terror. And for those who lived in Jerusalem, there was the smoke that hung continually over the temple mount. Listen to hear the bleating of the soon-silenced lamb; smell the acrid stench of burning hair and flesh; see the white robes of the high priest darkly stained. They knew their imperfections--they were lawbreakers.
In the the midst of all this, all they could do was hope their efforts were enough to atone for what they'd done, even though they knew it really wasn't enough; the deathly sacrifice would just have to be repeated again and again. Into that bloody, earthy, repetitive system of religion and death came these words: "And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. . . . For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." (Heb. 10:11-12,14)
The early Jewish Christians experienced something that their predecessors had never known: complete freedom from guilt, rest from the law's cruel lash, infinite acceptance before a holy God. Think of their joy and relief. No wonder they turned the world upside down.
Jesus Christ, the ultimate high priest, had accomplished what no other high priest had ever even dared to attempt. On the cross he spilled the blood of God to appease the wrath of God. This blood was so precious, being the very blood of the infinite, incarnate God, that just this one sacrifice was completely sufficient to atone for and bring to perfection all who would believe in it. Just one sacrifice was necessary to perfect them, to perfect you.
In the next daily devotion, Elyse focused on the verse from
John 14:15: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."
This is an excerpt from her commentary on it:
Jesus is lovingly stating a fact, but he's also making a precious promise: love will motivate behavior. He completely knows us, even the inmost thoughts of our hearts. He knows of our desire to obey and our shame and sadness because of our failures. But he also knows this: as our love for him grows, our obedience will grow, too.
The key to a godly life is not more and more self-generated effort. Instead, Jesus is saying, "Love me and your obedience will flow naturally from that love." The secret to obedience isn't formulaic steps found in a self-help book. It is a relentless pursuit of love for him. How then do I cultivate the sincerity of love that motivates obedience? By focusing more intently on his love for me than on my love for him, more on his obedience than mine, more on his faithfulness than mine, more on his strengths than mine.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
..God gave us a spirit not of fear...
Last night at missions conference skip talked about "the man that lost control". That man cared more for success and making his name great than anything else. That is what drove him, controlled him, and manipulated him. He so cared for what others had to say about who he was that he became what he thought people expected. so draining.. to keep up an image of someone you are not. draining, to keep everyone happy, draining to be success and not fail. How draining to live as if you are perfect or that you are God.What started out in his control ended up controlling him. All the while what was really happening, this self serving pride collapsed into fear. The very thing that he feared the most became his reality, that he really did not have any control in the first place. I so relate to this man. This need to be in the know and make things happen the way i think they should, "all for God's glory" of course. So humbling when God does take all the things you do find security, comfort, and control away just to show how out of control you really are. I live in this fear, fear of messing up, fearing of not being liked, fear of being alone, fear i'm not a good enough christian, fear that i will end up settling, fear that i will not learn from my mistakes, fear that i will never look good enough, know enough, make enough. SO draining and so not the gospel. Jesus did not give his life away and die my death on the cross so that i would live in a state of fear.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you." Isa 43:1-2
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you." Isa 43:1-2
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:14-15
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea Psalm 46:1-2
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea Psalm 46:1-2
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 timothy 1:7
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.-1 John 4:18
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”-Deuteronomy 31:8
"So we can confidently say,“The Lord is my helper;I will not fear; what can man do to me?” -Hebrews 13:6
I want to pray that i would believe these truths of the gospel... that He has redeemed me, He knows me by name, he is with me. God has adopted me and now i cry Abba father. He is my refuge and strength, He is very present in help,His love drives out fear,He goes before me, He will never leave or forsake me, and he has all authority on Heaven and earth. So why do i fear and have anxious thoughts. Why do i feel the need to control when He has been so faithful to me to this point. Why do i live in fear when he offers a life of freedom. Pray that i would enjoy "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding"(phil 4:7) God help me to not rely and give my life to the things that are fading but trust the one who is life giving and eternal. Amen Amen
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Jesus is not American, Republican, Democrat, or Libertarian....
"Jesus is not American, Republican, Democrat, or Libertarian. He is in fact the King of Kings. And his heart breaks for every language, tongue and tribe." -Andy Lewis
Missions Conference at Mitchell Road started tonight with dinner and a panel of missionaries around the world. A few years ago i was able to spend a summer in South Africa with a handful of college students to share how God changed my life through Jesus. That summer seriously was a life changing event.I learned what true intimacy with the lord looked like, I was able to learn to share my faith with others in a different culture and there, God planted the seed in my heart for sharing my faith not only for a summer trip but for a lifetime.
I loved my time in South Africa little things like how slowly they did life. "African Time" as they would call it. Meaning if someone said "i will meet you at 6" that really means 6:15 or 6:30. There is not an urgency to life there. What a change from go,go,go here in the states or "fast food" we want our food as soon as we order it. I loved how eager students were over there to know more about Jesus. It wasn't an attitude of "yeah yeah i already know this.. or i have been to church since i was five years old." But eager ears ready to listen about Jesus.
Tonight after hearing from a panel of missionaries i was brought back to this time in SA. This eagerness to know Jesus, people fighting to get their hands on the Bible.. risking their lives in order to read it. Humbling so humbling. I own several copies and struggle to read even one.
Psalm 19
"The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous."
Lord i pray for eagerness to know you. Pray that you would give me this sweet desire to be in your word. Thankful the Word is perfect,trustworthy,right,radiant,pure and firm. Thank you that the Word refreshes my soul, makes wise the simple,gives joy to my heart, reveals truth, and endures forever. Help me not take for granted this freedom i have to follow you, where others risk their lives in order to get a taste of who you are.
Missions Conference at Mitchell Road started tonight with dinner and a panel of missionaries around the world. A few years ago i was able to spend a summer in South Africa with a handful of college students to share how God changed my life through Jesus. That summer seriously was a life changing event.I learned what true intimacy with the lord looked like, I was able to learn to share my faith with others in a different culture and there, God planted the seed in my heart for sharing my faith not only for a summer trip but for a lifetime.
I loved my time in South Africa little things like how slowly they did life. "African Time" as they would call it. Meaning if someone said "i will meet you at 6" that really means 6:15 or 6:30. There is not an urgency to life there. What a change from go,go,go here in the states or "fast food" we want our food as soon as we order it. I loved how eager students were over there to know more about Jesus. It wasn't an attitude of "yeah yeah i already know this.. or i have been to church since i was five years old." But eager ears ready to listen about Jesus.
Tonight after hearing from a panel of missionaries i was brought back to this time in SA. This eagerness to know Jesus, people fighting to get their hands on the Bible.. risking their lives in order to read it. Humbling so humbling. I own several copies and struggle to read even one.
Psalm 19
"The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous."
Lord i pray for eagerness to know you. Pray that you would give me this sweet desire to be in your word. Thankful the Word is perfect,trustworthy,right,radiant,pure and firm. Thank you that the Word refreshes my soul, makes wise the simple,gives joy to my heart, reveals truth, and endures forever. Help me not take for granted this freedom i have to follow you, where others risk their lives in order to get a taste of who you are.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
snow ball effect
Do you ever let your day to day emotions, thoughts, actions, or motives build up? Something that seems so small..something you think you can just "push aside" (not realizing it still has authority over me) but choose to just let it pass because "its easier". Eventually though it back fires, eventually it explodes, eventually it (whatever "it" may be)is born to mad chaos.
Pretty sure i just described how i live, a pattern so rooted in my being. Last night at bible study a sweet friend taught us about the importance of prayer and confession. So many things just kept pointing back to this irritating root in my life, the kind that keeps coming back even after the weed-whacker, and multiple weed killers. What does it really look like to live a lifestyle of confession? This is how i process whether i should confess:
is it worth it?
Is it that big of a deal to confront that person with that pety little sin?
does it really matter because its not affecting anyone else, just me?
It's only happened a few times..when it gets to be a lot then i will confess and ask for help.
You see that is where i am so SO wrong. I let myself get too far gone (aka: control till i can not physically handle it anymore) and then ask for help. Not till sin is full grown do i see the need to fight it. But if i am honest with myself the snow ball effect is awful, so draining, and overwhelming..
God however, is writing a new story in my life, one called redemption. He plays the role of Hero..A hero that comes to the damsel in distress.. embraces her, loves her, makes a commitment to her, takes her by the hand and whispers "come follow me."
Jesus i confess that i am a wreck. I try and try and try to be "good enough" but end up 5 steps backwards. I confess i do not see the depth of my sin day to day as important UNTIL its unmanageable. Help me to kill sin before it kills me. Help me get deep into the root, rather than causally managing whats above ground and will soon regrow. So thankful that i can not add or take away from the gospel. what a relief! you love to hear my honesty, you love when i finally let the punching fist take a break and you love me as ashley adams.. the ashley here and now..still messy..still a sinner, still forgets you are on my side, still a insecure lil girl who tries to act like "everything is ok". Thank you for loving me even when i don't love you back.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Pretty sure i just described how i live, a pattern so rooted in my being. Last night at bible study a sweet friend taught us about the importance of prayer and confession. So many things just kept pointing back to this irritating root in my life, the kind that keeps coming back even after the weed-whacker, and multiple weed killers. What does it really look like to live a lifestyle of confession? This is how i process whether i should confess:
is it worth it?
Is it that big of a deal to confront that person with that pety little sin?
does it really matter because its not affecting anyone else, just me?
It's only happened a few times..when it gets to be a lot then i will confess and ask for help.
You see that is where i am so SO wrong. I let myself get too far gone (aka: control till i can not physically handle it anymore) and then ask for help. Not till sin is full grown do i see the need to fight it. But if i am honest with myself the snow ball effect is awful, so draining, and overwhelming..
God however, is writing a new story in my life, one called redemption. He plays the role of Hero..A hero that comes to the damsel in distress.. embraces her, loves her, makes a commitment to her, takes her by the hand and whispers "come follow me."
Jesus i confess that i am a wreck. I try and try and try to be "good enough" but end up 5 steps backwards. I confess i do not see the depth of my sin day to day as important UNTIL its unmanageable. Help me to kill sin before it kills me. Help me get deep into the root, rather than causally managing whats above ground and will soon regrow. So thankful that i can not add or take away from the gospel. what a relief! you love to hear my honesty, you love when i finally let the punching fist take a break and you love me as ashley adams.. the ashley here and now..still messy..still a sinner, still forgets you are on my side, still a insecure lil girl who tries to act like "everything is ok". Thank you for loving me even when i don't love you back.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
A life of Grace: How stuff works
while everyone else in the us is watching superbowl, I....
1)lay in my bed sick
2)work on some valentines for friends(www.emptywalletdesign.blogspot.com)
3)process the sermon from today(www.mrpc.com)
Things i walked away with:
*Through Christ i am able to fight sin
*the gospel is not to entertain but change us
*the Word clearly shows the affects of our sin and it starts in our minds(Eph 4:17-19)
*if sin starts with my thoughts.. what do i spend most of my time thinking about?
*challenged to mediate on scripture rather than believing my thoughts to be true
*Challenged by this question: what sin do you believe won't hurt you?
*"its the gospel that gives us balance"
*thankful for the calling to put off the old self...aka: putting off bondage
*thankful for the reminder that "putting off/putting on " is a process, does not happen overnight
*Thankful that Christ did not come to make me a zombie or robot, looking the same,acting the same, but gave us all different personalities and gifts to make one body.
*its not great talent God blesses-(PTL!)
*righteous and holiness do not have to be dull (why do i live like it is??)
*i want to learn how to rest in righteous and holiness that is radiant (aka:resting in Jesus)
* "The thief comes to steal,kill, and destroy but I have come to give you abundant life"-John 10:10 (pray that i would be eager to share this with someone who does not know this abundant life)
*so thankful this is the Lord who i trust and follow:Psalm 103"Praise the LORD, my soul,and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."
*quote i saw on twitter: plattdavid: 6,000 people groups unable to worship Christ this morning b/c they've never heard gospel; may our worship drive us to go to them. - ( i want this for my life)
For those of you interested ....
Notes from sermon:A life of grace: how stuff works- Ephesians 4:17-32
Eph 4:17-19
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
Sin:
1) attacks the mind- you can not think clearly
ask yourself: *What sin do you believe will not hurt you?*What sin do you think you can control?
2)Darken in understanding- you can not see..then becomes separation from God
3) Heart hardened- become ignorant
4)lose all sensitivity- you long to taste again, yearn to feel.
But "indulge" in every impurity to try to "feel" again
ex: this is why people cut, makes them feel alive again.
question: what are you several steps down this list in? (ex:control,lust,comfort,greed etc)
Grace: v.22-24
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
1) put off old(which is being corrupted by its decietful desires)
2) put on new( created to be like God)
* the gospel isn't take off old self so that you can feel inscure.. the gospel is grab onto whats beautiful and loving which is Christ.
*v.24 "created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." - Christ did not come to make you zombies or dull. He came to make you radiant in joy and laughter..
Because of the Grace given we can live:
"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Life:
1)put off: falsehood,anger,stealing,gossip,bitterness,rage,brawling,slander and every form of malice
2)put on: speaking truth in love, encouraging words to build up one another, Be kind, compassionate,&forgiving.
1)lay in my bed sick
2)work on some valentines for friends(www.emptywalletdesign.blogspot.com)
3)process the sermon from today(www.mrpc.com)
Things i walked away with:
*Through Christ i am able to fight sin
*the gospel is not to entertain but change us
*the Word clearly shows the affects of our sin and it starts in our minds(Eph 4:17-19)
*if sin starts with my thoughts.. what do i spend most of my time thinking about?
*challenged to mediate on scripture rather than believing my thoughts to be true
*Challenged by this question: what sin do you believe won't hurt you?
*"its the gospel that gives us balance"
*thankful for the calling to put off the old self...aka: putting off bondage
*thankful for the reminder that "putting off/putting on " is a process, does not happen overnight
*Thankful that Christ did not come to make me a zombie or robot, looking the same,acting the same, but gave us all different personalities and gifts to make one body.
*its not great talent God blesses-(PTL!)
*righteous and holiness do not have to be dull (why do i live like it is??)
*i want to learn how to rest in righteous and holiness that is radiant (aka:resting in Jesus)
* "The thief comes to steal,kill, and destroy but I have come to give you abundant life"-John 10:10 (pray that i would be eager to share this with someone who does not know this abundant life)
*so thankful this is the Lord who i trust and follow:Psalm 103"Praise the LORD, my soul,and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."
*quote i saw on twitter: plattdavid: 6,000 people groups unable to worship Christ this morning b/c they've never heard gospel; may our worship drive us to go to them. - ( i want this for my life)
For those of you interested ....
Notes from sermon:A life of grace: how stuff works- Ephesians 4:17-32
Eph 4:17-19
17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
Sin:
1) attacks the mind- you can not think clearly
ask yourself: *What sin do you believe will not hurt you?*What sin do you think you can control?
2)Darken in understanding- you can not see..then becomes separation from God
3) Heart hardened- become ignorant
4)lose all sensitivity- you long to taste again, yearn to feel.
But "indulge" in every impurity to try to "feel" again
ex: this is why people cut, makes them feel alive again.
question: what are you several steps down this list in? (ex:control,lust,comfort,greed etc)
Grace: v.22-24
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
1) put off old(which is being corrupted by its decietful desires)
2) put on new( created to be like God)
* the gospel isn't take off old self so that you can feel inscure.. the gospel is grab onto whats beautiful and loving which is Christ.
*v.24 "created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." - Christ did not come to make you zombies or dull. He came to make you radiant in joy and laughter..
Because of the Grace given we can live:
"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Life:
1)put off: falsehood,anger,stealing,gossip,bitterness,rage,brawling,slander and every form of malice
2)put on: speaking truth in love, encouraging words to build up one another, Be kind, compassionate,&forgiving.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight,O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. psalm 19:14
Thursday, January 27, 2011
"in kneeling, there is power"
the Lord has been putting a lot of things on my heart lately..
#1-5 from Andy's Sermons sunday (recommend- www.mrpc.org)
1)living a life of Grace rather than winning your affection for Christ
2)what is divided and not reconciled in my life (ex: in my job,church,friendships,neighborhood,family etc)
3)Posture before the Lord is more important then % of time (living that one backwards)
4)"Do i view my walk with the lord as a rental, if it gets to hard to keep up i will just give it back, or do i own it like God owns me?" - Thank you Andy Lewis for that punch in the stomach
5)Name one area of your life that would not benefit from humility?
6) i so often view fighting sin like "get it together already!" the gospel is not "get it together already" if it was then im not a christian hahah PTL that its come as you are.. a awful awful sinner who keeps messing up and will continue to but at His table is forgiveness, a clean slate every morning, a father who throws a party every time we come back to him after we have embarrassed him and his reputation. THAT IS CRAZY. like seriously, I don't understand.
7)"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 peter 2:9
So thankful to be chosen, a people belonging to God.... no matter how much i mess up and i don't "get it together" i'm not voted off, or kicked out of the group. My name is written in the book of life, on the palm of his Hand! i am his and he loves me..
8)"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Lord help me to love like this.. cause i do not know how!
#1-5 from Andy's Sermons sunday (recommend- www.mrpc.org)
1)living a life of Grace rather than winning your affection for Christ
2)what is divided and not reconciled in my life (ex: in my job,church,friendships,neighborhood,family etc)
3)Posture before the Lord is more important then % of time (living that one backwards)
4)"Do i view my walk with the lord as a rental, if it gets to hard to keep up i will just give it back, or do i own it like God owns me?" - Thank you Andy Lewis for that punch in the stomach
5)Name one area of your life that would not benefit from humility?
6) i so often view fighting sin like "get it together already!" the gospel is not "get it together already" if it was then im not a christian hahah PTL that its come as you are.. a awful awful sinner who keeps messing up and will continue to but at His table is forgiveness, a clean slate every morning, a father who throws a party every time we come back to him after we have embarrassed him and his reputation. THAT IS CRAZY. like seriously, I don't understand.
7)"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 peter 2:9
So thankful to be chosen, a people belonging to God.... no matter how much i mess up and i don't "get it together" i'm not voted off, or kicked out of the group. My name is written in the book of life, on the palm of his Hand! i am his and he loves me..
8)"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Lord help me to love like this.. cause i do not know how!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
"I can't believe I did that!"
A lifestyle of repentance is not something we normally practice or think about. Rather than a lifestyle of repentance, most of us live a lifestyle of remorse and resolution. Our usual approach to our sin may be summarized as follows:
Remorse: "I can't believe I did that"..."I just can't forgive myself"
Resolution: "I promise to do better next time!"..."I won't do that again"
Behind this way of living are two great misunderstandings about our hearts. First, we think too highly of ourselves. We loathe looking at our hearts and seeing what they are really like. So we are constantly surprised at how angry,lustful,and hateful we can quickly become. Our response to our sin is then something along the lines of "I can't believe I just did that." Bottom line: we don't believe what God says about our heart condition. Second, we think we have the power to change our hearts. So in response to our sin,we make resolutions, or try to impose various laws on ourselves. Since we have a light view of our sin, we think that the has power to change us. After all, if we have only a minor problem, a few resolutions and laws ought to be able to sort everything out.
Furthermore, since we usually approach our sin in this way, we also approach the sins of others in a wrong manner. This can be summarized as the follows:
Resent: "I hate it when you do that!"..."I wouldn't have done that."
React: Angry thoughts,dirty looks,cutting words.
Although we are often lenient with our owns sins, we cna be extremely harsh with the sins of others. We respond to our own sins with resolutions We respond to the sins of others, and our usual solution is to give them a couple of laws and send them on their way.
Given the state of our hearts, we should not be surprised that we are called to live a lifestyle of repentance. Richard Lovelace notes that sin is "an organic network of compulsive attitudes,beliefs and behavior deeply rooted in our alienation from God." Our hearts are an underground network of caves,all interconnected, and all full of sin. As light shines in, it reveals a cave together with passageways to ten more. Travel into another cave, and we find a ten more passageways. This being the case, we should not be surprised that we sin daily, and therefore need to repent daily. Instead of the above responses, our usual response to our sin should be along the lines of:
Realize: "i did do that."... "I can believe that i am like that"
Repent: "Lord, forgive me! You are my only Hope."
What does this genuine repentance look like? Hosea 14:1-9 describes this real repentance. In contrast to chapters 6 and 7, where Israel was demanding that the pain and agony cease, Hosea 14 describes us when we give a shallow confession,glossing over our heart sins and then demanding quick forgiveness. Meanwhile, the person we have sinned against feels lacerated and blown away by our contempt. Genuine repentance focuses on our sin and what is driving our hearts. It does not jump on the other person,demanding quick forgiveness.
In Hosea 14, the people concentrate on their sin. They acknowledge that their sin has been their downfall. Hosea 14:2 sums up gospel living. "Take words with you" means to be specific about our sin, including our heart sins. This verse teaches us to come to God,asking him to forgive our sins and receive us, so that we may worship him. Significantly, God's response in chapter 14 is very different from his response in Hosea 6:4. God now promises to heal and love his people. Through repentance, God now changes and renews us. Repentance is foundational to our lives, for through it we are healed and loved by God. Furthermore, from this repentance will flow a genuine love for people, and a realization that others are just like us-sinners who need the life giving Holy Spirit.
www.whm.org
Sonship Bible study
This Bible study has been amazing for me in this season of life. One of the questions from the chapter said:
What is the test or evidence of true repentance? Explain:
Repentance: confessing/naming specific sin,and turning away from it through faith.
“Repent therefore and return, that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19). Repentance is not just turning away from sin, but also turning toward the Lord with hearts open and expectant and submissive.
evidence: changed heart,posture and actions
These are the questions i asked myself:
Are you proud?
Are you gossiping trying to prove your case only to build up your side/team
Are you the victim?
Do you always have to be right?
Do you see fault in yourself or the current situation?
Are you able to put yourself in their shoes?
Have you confessed sin to others and God?
How are you actively turning away from this specific sin?
Are you relying on self or God to restore?
Are you wanting a quick fix/save your reputation or really fighting to see the deep root beyond the "i'm sorry"?
Praying for a lifestyle of repentance
Remorse: "I can't believe I did that"..."I just can't forgive myself"
Resolution: "I promise to do better next time!"..."I won't do that again"
Behind this way of living are two great misunderstandings about our hearts. First, we think too highly of ourselves. We loathe looking at our hearts and seeing what they are really like. So we are constantly surprised at how angry,lustful,and hateful we can quickly become. Our response to our sin is then something along the lines of "I can't believe I just did that." Bottom line: we don't believe what God says about our heart condition. Second, we think we have the power to change our hearts. So in response to our sin,we make resolutions, or try to impose various laws on ourselves. Since we have a light view of our sin, we think that the has power to change us. After all, if we have only a minor problem, a few resolutions and laws ought to be able to sort everything out.
Furthermore, since we usually approach our sin in this way, we also approach the sins of others in a wrong manner. This can be summarized as the follows:
Resent: "I hate it when you do that!"..."I wouldn't have done that."
React: Angry thoughts,dirty looks,cutting words.
Although we are often lenient with our owns sins, we cna be extremely harsh with the sins of others. We respond to our own sins with resolutions We respond to the sins of others, and our usual solution is to give them a couple of laws and send them on their way.
Given the state of our hearts, we should not be surprised that we are called to live a lifestyle of repentance. Richard Lovelace notes that sin is "an organic network of compulsive attitudes,beliefs and behavior deeply rooted in our alienation from God." Our hearts are an underground network of caves,all interconnected, and all full of sin. As light shines in, it reveals a cave together with passageways to ten more. Travel into another cave, and we find a ten more passageways. This being the case, we should not be surprised that we sin daily, and therefore need to repent daily. Instead of the above responses, our usual response to our sin should be along the lines of:
Realize: "i did do that."... "I can believe that i am like that"
Repent: "Lord, forgive me! You are my only Hope."
What does this genuine repentance look like? Hosea 14:1-9 describes this real repentance. In contrast to chapters 6 and 7, where Israel was demanding that the pain and agony cease, Hosea 14 describes us when we give a shallow confession,glossing over our heart sins and then demanding quick forgiveness. Meanwhile, the person we have sinned against feels lacerated and blown away by our contempt. Genuine repentance focuses on our sin and what is driving our hearts. It does not jump on the other person,demanding quick forgiveness.
In Hosea 14, the people concentrate on their sin. They acknowledge that their sin has been their downfall. Hosea 14:2 sums up gospel living. "Take words with you" means to be specific about our sin, including our heart sins. This verse teaches us to come to God,asking him to forgive our sins and receive us, so that we may worship him. Significantly, God's response in chapter 14 is very different from his response in Hosea 6:4. God now promises to heal and love his people. Through repentance, God now changes and renews us. Repentance is foundational to our lives, for through it we are healed and loved by God. Furthermore, from this repentance will flow a genuine love for people, and a realization that others are just like us-sinners who need the life giving Holy Spirit.
www.whm.org
Sonship Bible study
This Bible study has been amazing for me in this season of life. One of the questions from the chapter said:
What is the test or evidence of true repentance? Explain:
Repentance: confessing/naming specific sin,and turning away from it through faith.
“Repent therefore and return, that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19). Repentance is not just turning away from sin, but also turning toward the Lord with hearts open and expectant and submissive.
evidence: changed heart,posture and actions
These are the questions i asked myself:
Are you proud?
Are you gossiping trying to prove your case only to build up your side/team
Are you the victim?
Do you always have to be right?
Do you see fault in yourself or the current situation?
Are you able to put yourself in their shoes?
Have you confessed sin to others and God?
How are you actively turning away from this specific sin?
Are you relying on self or God to restore?
Are you wanting a quick fix/save your reputation or really fighting to see the deep root beyond the "i'm sorry"?
Praying for a lifestyle of repentance
Skip Ryan
Missions Conference is Feb 18-20th 2011 at Mitchell Road...
Every year i experience this rage of emotion:
Humbled
Thankful
encouraged
Challeneged
excited
ahhh i can't wait! As i was researching a little about the main speaker i literally can't wait to hear what God will bring and do in and through him. I could not find a way to put it on my blog but here is the link to his testimony! Another reminder that God is so faithful to His people and continues what He started!
Former Pastor Skip Ryan Speaks On His Addiction
Three years ago, Park Cities People ran an across-the-front-page headline that Skip Ryan had been dismissed as senior pastor of Park Cities Presbyterian Church. A week later, it reported what the elders of the church already knew: that he was a drug addict. It was a devastating and very public fall for a man who was recognized as a star of the Presbyterian Church of America.
This week, Ryan spoke at the church’s 37th General Assembly in Orlando. It is a report from the frontlines of the intensely personal struggle of a very “successful” man.
ccspodcast.wordpress.com/2009/06/18/testimony-of-skip-ryan-37th-general-assembly-of-the-pca/
Every year i experience this rage of emotion:
Humbled
Thankful
encouraged
Challeneged
excited
ahhh i can't wait! As i was researching a little about the main speaker i literally can't wait to hear what God will bring and do in and through him. I could not find a way to put it on my blog but here is the link to his testimony! Another reminder that God is so faithful to His people and continues what He started!
Former Pastor Skip Ryan Speaks On His Addiction
Three years ago, Park Cities People ran an across-the-front-page headline that Skip Ryan had been dismissed as senior pastor of Park Cities Presbyterian Church. A week later, it reported what the elders of the church already knew: that he was a drug addict. It was a devastating and very public fall for a man who was recognized as a star of the Presbyterian Church of America.
This week, Ryan spoke at the church’s 37th General Assembly in Orlando. It is a report from the frontlines of the intensely personal struggle of a very “successful” man.
ccspodcast.wordpress.com/2009/06/18/testimony-of-skip-ryan-37th-general-assembly-of-the-pca/
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Romans 8
Since i have moved to greenville i have been meaning to find a doctor before my meds ran out. However, i totally forgot and was left frantic to randomly find someone asap so that i wouldn't have to go crazy off my medication. After texting several friends i find out that all my friend are healthy and don't go to doctors. Awesome. anyways one thing lead to another and found out a sweet friend who happens to be in both my community group and bible study is a family doctor.( i had no clue.. guess im an awful friend) thankfully she fit me in the next morning. I've never had a doctor that
1) i knew before hand
2) is a believer
3) i felt comfortable with
all in all the appointment went great. I was able to be honest with not just my physical need but also how my spiritual need come into play with all the different meds i am taking. As my doctor wrote out my prescriptions i noticed there were one to many. Looking at the last one it read: "Romans 8". it was one of those moments that i just sat there and read over and over.. Romans 8.. Romans 8.. that's it!! at the end of the day no medication will ever cure,fix,satisfy me long term, oh how i wish it would. But ahh what a sweet gift from the Lord! I have never been prescribed the Word from a doctor before.. but it really did mean so much to read that off the paper. Romans 8 live by the spirit.
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."-Romans 8:6
What a comfort to know that God is not separate from my doctors visits, or my health issues, or my anxiety, or the decisions that have to be made. Thankful for the Holy Spirit that lives in me that offers life and peace.
1) i knew before hand
2) is a believer
3) i felt comfortable with
all in all the appointment went great. I was able to be honest with not just my physical need but also how my spiritual need come into play with all the different meds i am taking. As my doctor wrote out my prescriptions i noticed there were one to many. Looking at the last one it read: "Romans 8". it was one of those moments that i just sat there and read over and over.. Romans 8.. Romans 8.. that's it!! at the end of the day no medication will ever cure,fix,satisfy me long term, oh how i wish it would. But ahh what a sweet gift from the Lord! I have never been prescribed the Word from a doctor before.. but it really did mean so much to read that off the paper. Romans 8 live by the spirit.
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."-Romans 8:6
What a comfort to know that God is not separate from my doctors visits, or my health issues, or my anxiety, or the decisions that have to be made. Thankful for the Holy Spirit that lives in me that offers life and peace.
Monday, January 17, 2011
"He knows what He is doing with me" job 33:1
today was a range of emotions for me..
1) a sweet friends mom rushed to the hospital
2)lots to do today
3)day 11 of kids being out of school
4)an anxious heart
5)worked later for an extra family
6)phone died
7)confession @ bible study
8)mini break down
9)1 hour conv w/a new friend bearing one another burdens
as i walk away from another 24 yr old drama queen day, i have learned:
1)i have little patience and want to pray for more
2)baby steps- sanctification is a process (ugh)
3)i long for a time line
4)i think the lord has given me plan b
5)soo thankful we have a body of Christ and i don't do this alone
6)i think seasons in my life should last no more than 4-6 weeks (ive been proven wrong)
7)i want a quick fix
8)i want to learn to become content
9)thankful my heart of stone is breaking down.. i'm starting to feel again
10)God is not a God of confusion but of peace.. thank you lord!
11) i rely on myself way to much
12)i don't know how to receive unconditional love
13) if "love is patient, and kind" 1 cor 13 then i don't know what it means to really love others well.
14) Job 33:1 "He knows what He is doing with me, and when He has tested me, I will come forth as pure Gold."
15)ahhh 1)He knows what he is doing with me 2) he is all about some sanctification and not letting me settle for what i so long for COMFORT 3) "i will come forth" sweet reminder that we're not stuck in this season4) come forth as pure gold.. its crazy to think we will be better off, and look back thankful for the testing/discipline(hard for me to see right now, but i want to believe it!)
PTL for new mercies tomorrow..
1) a sweet friends mom rushed to the hospital
2)lots to do today
3)day 11 of kids being out of school
4)an anxious heart
5)worked later for an extra family
6)phone died
7)confession @ bible study
8)mini break down
9)1 hour conv w/a new friend bearing one another burdens
as i walk away from another 24 yr old drama queen day, i have learned:
1)i have little patience and want to pray for more
2)baby steps- sanctification is a process (ugh)
3)i long for a time line
4)i think the lord has given me plan b
5)soo thankful we have a body of Christ and i don't do this alone
6)i think seasons in my life should last no more than 4-6 weeks (ive been proven wrong)
7)i want a quick fix
8)i want to learn to become content
9)thankful my heart of stone is breaking down.. i'm starting to feel again
10)God is not a God of confusion but of peace.. thank you lord!
11) i rely on myself way to much
12)i don't know how to receive unconditional love
13) if "love is patient, and kind" 1 cor 13 then i don't know what it means to really love others well.
14) Job 33:1 "He knows what He is doing with me, and when He has tested me, I will come forth as pure Gold."
15)ahhh 1)He knows what he is doing with me 2) he is all about some sanctification and not letting me settle for what i so long for COMFORT 3) "i will come forth" sweet reminder that we're not stuck in this season4) come forth as pure gold.. its crazy to think we will be better off, and look back thankful for the testing/discipline(hard for me to see right now, but i want to believe it!)
PTL for new mercies tomorrow..
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thankful wednesday
something im wanting to do more of in 2011 is writing down the things i am thankful for day to day. I think its so easy for me to let my mind determine my mood, and that...can be scary! so here's to the first blog (of many, i hope) of things i'm thankful for..
1.the sweet sweet griffith girls i spend my days with
2.starbucks coffee and a few mins to enjoy it
3.visiting the ymca in hopes that i will join for zumba classes
4.meeting new people at the y
5.free stuff- 2 guest passes, and coffee at panera
6.being able to listen to conference online
7.that i am not my own
8.my God "He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure". ps 40:2
9.that i am alive in christ
10.i am married to christ
11. in marriage there are 2 phases.1) wedding-romantic 2)marriage-developmental/life on life. praying that i would not want to just be woed and pursed by christ but that i would want to be fully known and made one with christ.
12. 2 hours of law and order svu
13. a quiet night to just "be"
14.dreaming for the future
15. reading blogs
16. the talk about more snow
1.the sweet sweet griffith girls i spend my days with
2.starbucks coffee and a few mins to enjoy it
3.visiting the ymca in hopes that i will join for zumba classes
4.meeting new people at the y
5.free stuff- 2 guest passes, and coffee at panera
6.being able to listen to conference online
7.that i am not my own
8.my God "He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure". ps 40:2
9.that i am alive in christ
10.i am married to christ
11. in marriage there are 2 phases.1) wedding-romantic 2)marriage-developmental/life on life. praying that i would not want to just be woed and pursed by christ but that i would want to be fully known and made one with christ.
12. 2 hours of law and order svu
13. a quiet night to just "be"
14.dreaming for the future
15. reading blogs
16. the talk about more snow
Truth in love
Blog from Andy Lewis: www.gospelparadox.blogspot.com
an immediate heart scan
A friend sat me down yesterday to tell me that he was noticing something concerning in my life. There was a way in which I was speaking that he thought may be distracting. He was right...and for that matter a good friend to point it out.
Scripture tells us that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Rebuke done in truth and love is the best thing a friend can do. What happened yesterday is that I had an immediate heart scan (my friend only saw a little blip) but it revealed a larger cancer in my spiritual life.
I realized that what is coming out of my mouth is indicated what is already in my heart. It is a great and painful way to scan your life and see how spiritually healthy your heart is... Here are some questions I'm using.
- Am I poking fun at someone because I'm insecure or intimidated?
- Am I saying something to receive affirmation or to bolster my reputation?
- Am I talking about anyone in a way that I wouldn't speak face to face?
- Am I sowing discord by letting people believe things about others that is conjuncture?
- Am I hoping to make someone feel bad by being quiet instead of extending forgiveness?
- Am I cutting people down so I feel bigger?
- Am I trying to prove that I am right before listening to the other opinions?
- Am I always trying to solve the problem before I pray about the situation?
- Am I saying things that make me look better or less sinful than I actually am?
- Am I judging people verbally before I know them?
Scripture is so practically helpful its scary: Luke 6 For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. What God's word tells us is that our tongues provide an immediate heart scan.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ...9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
BUT - all is not lost. This morning I can draw near to God. I am not to speak about him before I draw near to him. But I can draw near as I have found out yesterday and I'm finding out today that I am: insecure, scared, intimidated, prideful, plagued with low self-esteem, judgmental, etc.
I can draw near and find my security and identity in the fact that God knows me and gives me grace. I can draw near first in worship of Him which allows me to freely love others. I can draw near to a God who loves me because Christ has been judged for my sin. To a God who doesn't speak about me behind my back but instead has put my sins behind his back! To a God is longing for my conversation in prayer. To a God who loves to here my inadequate and off-pitch praise.
I can draw near to a God - who pulls me out of the muck and mire and puts a new song in my mouth - a song of praise to my God (Ps. 40.)
So I confess and repent and am thankful to a God who loves and forgives and a friend who speaks the truth in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
an immediate heart scan
A friend sat me down yesterday to tell me that he was noticing something concerning in my life. There was a way in which I was speaking that he thought may be distracting. He was right...and for that matter a good friend to point it out.
Scripture tells us that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Rebuke done in truth and love is the best thing a friend can do. What happened yesterday is that I had an immediate heart scan (my friend only saw a little blip) but it revealed a larger cancer in my spiritual life.
I realized that what is coming out of my mouth is indicated what is already in my heart. It is a great and painful way to scan your life and see how spiritually healthy your heart is... Here are some questions I'm using.
- Am I poking fun at someone because I'm insecure or intimidated?
- Am I saying something to receive affirmation or to bolster my reputation?
- Am I talking about anyone in a way that I wouldn't speak face to face?
- Am I sowing discord by letting people believe things about others that is conjuncture?
- Am I hoping to make someone feel bad by being quiet instead of extending forgiveness?
- Am I cutting people down so I feel bigger?
- Am I trying to prove that I am right before listening to the other opinions?
- Am I always trying to solve the problem before I pray about the situation?
- Am I saying things that make me look better or less sinful than I actually am?
- Am I judging people verbally before I know them?
Scripture is so practically helpful its scary: Luke 6 For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. What God's word tells us is that our tongues provide an immediate heart scan.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ...9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
BUT - all is not lost. This morning I can draw near to God. I am not to speak about him before I draw near to him. But I can draw near as I have found out yesterday and I'm finding out today that I am: insecure, scared, intimidated, prideful, plagued with low self-esteem, judgmental, etc.
I can draw near and find my security and identity in the fact that God knows me and gives me grace. I can draw near first in worship of Him which allows me to freely love others. I can draw near to a God who loves me because Christ has been judged for my sin. To a God who doesn't speak about me behind my back but instead has put my sins behind his back! To a God is longing for my conversation in prayer. To a God who loves to here my inadequate and off-pitch praise.
I can draw near to a God - who pulls me out of the muck and mire and puts a new song in my mouth - a song of praise to my God (Ps. 40.)
So I confess and repent and am thankful to a God who loves and forgives and a friend who speaks the truth in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
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