the Lord has been putting a lot of things on my heart lately..
#1-5 from Andy's Sermons sunday (recommend- www.mrpc.org)
1)living a life of Grace rather than winning your affection for Christ
2)what is divided and not reconciled in my life (ex: in my job,church,friendships,neighborhood,family etc)
3)Posture before the Lord is more important then % of time (living that one backwards)
4)"Do i view my walk with the lord as a rental, if it gets to hard to keep up i will just give it back, or do i own it like God owns me?" - Thank you Andy Lewis for that punch in the stomach
5)Name one area of your life that would not benefit from humility?
6) i so often view fighting sin like "get it together already!" the gospel is not "get it together already" if it was then im not a christian hahah PTL that its come as you are.. a awful awful sinner who keeps messing up and will continue to but at His table is forgiveness, a clean slate every morning, a father who throws a party every time we come back to him after we have embarrassed him and his reputation. THAT IS CRAZY. like seriously, I don't understand.
7)"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 peter 2:9
So thankful to be chosen, a people belonging to God.... no matter how much i mess up and i don't "get it together" i'm not voted off, or kicked out of the group. My name is written in the book of life, on the palm of his Hand! i am his and he loves me..
8)"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Lord help me to love like this.. cause i do not know how!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
"I can't believe I did that!"
A lifestyle of repentance is not something we normally practice or think about. Rather than a lifestyle of repentance, most of us live a lifestyle of remorse and resolution. Our usual approach to our sin may be summarized as follows:
Remorse: "I can't believe I did that"..."I just can't forgive myself"
Resolution: "I promise to do better next time!"..."I won't do that again"
Behind this way of living are two great misunderstandings about our hearts. First, we think too highly of ourselves. We loathe looking at our hearts and seeing what they are really like. So we are constantly surprised at how angry,lustful,and hateful we can quickly become. Our response to our sin is then something along the lines of "I can't believe I just did that." Bottom line: we don't believe what God says about our heart condition. Second, we think we have the power to change our hearts. So in response to our sin,we make resolutions, or try to impose various laws on ourselves. Since we have a light view of our sin, we think that the has power to change us. After all, if we have only a minor problem, a few resolutions and laws ought to be able to sort everything out.
Furthermore, since we usually approach our sin in this way, we also approach the sins of others in a wrong manner. This can be summarized as the follows:
Resent: "I hate it when you do that!"..."I wouldn't have done that."
React: Angry thoughts,dirty looks,cutting words.
Although we are often lenient with our owns sins, we cna be extremely harsh with the sins of others. We respond to our own sins with resolutions We respond to the sins of others, and our usual solution is to give them a couple of laws and send them on their way.
Given the state of our hearts, we should not be surprised that we are called to live a lifestyle of repentance. Richard Lovelace notes that sin is "an organic network of compulsive attitudes,beliefs and behavior deeply rooted in our alienation from God." Our hearts are an underground network of caves,all interconnected, and all full of sin. As light shines in, it reveals a cave together with passageways to ten more. Travel into another cave, and we find a ten more passageways. This being the case, we should not be surprised that we sin daily, and therefore need to repent daily. Instead of the above responses, our usual response to our sin should be along the lines of:
Realize: "i did do that."... "I can believe that i am like that"
Repent: "Lord, forgive me! You are my only Hope."
What does this genuine repentance look like? Hosea 14:1-9 describes this real repentance. In contrast to chapters 6 and 7, where Israel was demanding that the pain and agony cease, Hosea 14 describes us when we give a shallow confession,glossing over our heart sins and then demanding quick forgiveness. Meanwhile, the person we have sinned against feels lacerated and blown away by our contempt. Genuine repentance focuses on our sin and what is driving our hearts. It does not jump on the other person,demanding quick forgiveness.
In Hosea 14, the people concentrate on their sin. They acknowledge that their sin has been their downfall. Hosea 14:2 sums up gospel living. "Take words with you" means to be specific about our sin, including our heart sins. This verse teaches us to come to God,asking him to forgive our sins and receive us, so that we may worship him. Significantly, God's response in chapter 14 is very different from his response in Hosea 6:4. God now promises to heal and love his people. Through repentance, God now changes and renews us. Repentance is foundational to our lives, for through it we are healed and loved by God. Furthermore, from this repentance will flow a genuine love for people, and a realization that others are just like us-sinners who need the life giving Holy Spirit.
www.whm.org
Sonship Bible study
This Bible study has been amazing for me in this season of life. One of the questions from the chapter said:
What is the test or evidence of true repentance? Explain:
Repentance: confessing/naming specific sin,and turning away from it through faith.
“Repent therefore and return, that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19). Repentance is not just turning away from sin, but also turning toward the Lord with hearts open and expectant and submissive.
evidence: changed heart,posture and actions
These are the questions i asked myself:
Are you proud?
Are you gossiping trying to prove your case only to build up your side/team
Are you the victim?
Do you always have to be right?
Do you see fault in yourself or the current situation?
Are you able to put yourself in their shoes?
Have you confessed sin to others and God?
How are you actively turning away from this specific sin?
Are you relying on self or God to restore?
Are you wanting a quick fix/save your reputation or really fighting to see the deep root beyond the "i'm sorry"?
Praying for a lifestyle of repentance
Remorse: "I can't believe I did that"..."I just can't forgive myself"
Resolution: "I promise to do better next time!"..."I won't do that again"
Behind this way of living are two great misunderstandings about our hearts. First, we think too highly of ourselves. We loathe looking at our hearts and seeing what they are really like. So we are constantly surprised at how angry,lustful,and hateful we can quickly become. Our response to our sin is then something along the lines of "I can't believe I just did that." Bottom line: we don't believe what God says about our heart condition. Second, we think we have the power to change our hearts. So in response to our sin,we make resolutions, or try to impose various laws on ourselves. Since we have a light view of our sin, we think that the has power to change us. After all, if we have only a minor problem, a few resolutions and laws ought to be able to sort everything out.
Furthermore, since we usually approach our sin in this way, we also approach the sins of others in a wrong manner. This can be summarized as the follows:
Resent: "I hate it when you do that!"..."I wouldn't have done that."
React: Angry thoughts,dirty looks,cutting words.
Although we are often lenient with our owns sins, we cna be extremely harsh with the sins of others. We respond to our own sins with resolutions We respond to the sins of others, and our usual solution is to give them a couple of laws and send them on their way.
Given the state of our hearts, we should not be surprised that we are called to live a lifestyle of repentance. Richard Lovelace notes that sin is "an organic network of compulsive attitudes,beliefs and behavior deeply rooted in our alienation from God." Our hearts are an underground network of caves,all interconnected, and all full of sin. As light shines in, it reveals a cave together with passageways to ten more. Travel into another cave, and we find a ten more passageways. This being the case, we should not be surprised that we sin daily, and therefore need to repent daily. Instead of the above responses, our usual response to our sin should be along the lines of:
Realize: "i did do that."... "I can believe that i am like that"
Repent: "Lord, forgive me! You are my only Hope."
What does this genuine repentance look like? Hosea 14:1-9 describes this real repentance. In contrast to chapters 6 and 7, where Israel was demanding that the pain and agony cease, Hosea 14 describes us when we give a shallow confession,glossing over our heart sins and then demanding quick forgiveness. Meanwhile, the person we have sinned against feels lacerated and blown away by our contempt. Genuine repentance focuses on our sin and what is driving our hearts. It does not jump on the other person,demanding quick forgiveness.
In Hosea 14, the people concentrate on their sin. They acknowledge that their sin has been their downfall. Hosea 14:2 sums up gospel living. "Take words with you" means to be specific about our sin, including our heart sins. This verse teaches us to come to God,asking him to forgive our sins and receive us, so that we may worship him. Significantly, God's response in chapter 14 is very different from his response in Hosea 6:4. God now promises to heal and love his people. Through repentance, God now changes and renews us. Repentance is foundational to our lives, for through it we are healed and loved by God. Furthermore, from this repentance will flow a genuine love for people, and a realization that others are just like us-sinners who need the life giving Holy Spirit.
www.whm.org
Sonship Bible study
This Bible study has been amazing for me in this season of life. One of the questions from the chapter said:
What is the test or evidence of true repentance? Explain:
Repentance: confessing/naming specific sin,and turning away from it through faith.
“Repent therefore and return, that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19). Repentance is not just turning away from sin, but also turning toward the Lord with hearts open and expectant and submissive.
evidence: changed heart,posture and actions
These are the questions i asked myself:
Are you proud?
Are you gossiping trying to prove your case only to build up your side/team
Are you the victim?
Do you always have to be right?
Do you see fault in yourself or the current situation?
Are you able to put yourself in their shoes?
Have you confessed sin to others and God?
How are you actively turning away from this specific sin?
Are you relying on self or God to restore?
Are you wanting a quick fix/save your reputation or really fighting to see the deep root beyond the "i'm sorry"?
Praying for a lifestyle of repentance
Skip Ryan
Missions Conference is Feb 18-20th 2011 at Mitchell Road...
Every year i experience this rage of emotion:
Humbled
Thankful
encouraged
Challeneged
excited
ahhh i can't wait! As i was researching a little about the main speaker i literally can't wait to hear what God will bring and do in and through him. I could not find a way to put it on my blog but here is the link to his testimony! Another reminder that God is so faithful to His people and continues what He started!
Former Pastor Skip Ryan Speaks On His Addiction
Three years ago, Park Cities People ran an across-the-front-page headline that Skip Ryan had been dismissed as senior pastor of Park Cities Presbyterian Church. A week later, it reported what the elders of the church already knew: that he was a drug addict. It was a devastating and very public fall for a man who was recognized as a star of the Presbyterian Church of America.
This week, Ryan spoke at the church’s 37th General Assembly in Orlando. It is a report from the frontlines of the intensely personal struggle of a very “successful” man.
ccspodcast.wordpress.com/2009/06/18/testimony-of-skip-ryan-37th-general-assembly-of-the-pca/
Every year i experience this rage of emotion:
Humbled
Thankful
encouraged
Challeneged
excited
ahhh i can't wait! As i was researching a little about the main speaker i literally can't wait to hear what God will bring and do in and through him. I could not find a way to put it on my blog but here is the link to his testimony! Another reminder that God is so faithful to His people and continues what He started!
Former Pastor Skip Ryan Speaks On His Addiction
Three years ago, Park Cities People ran an across-the-front-page headline that Skip Ryan had been dismissed as senior pastor of Park Cities Presbyterian Church. A week later, it reported what the elders of the church already knew: that he was a drug addict. It was a devastating and very public fall for a man who was recognized as a star of the Presbyterian Church of America.
This week, Ryan spoke at the church’s 37th General Assembly in Orlando. It is a report from the frontlines of the intensely personal struggle of a very “successful” man.
ccspodcast.wordpress.com/2009/06/18/testimony-of-skip-ryan-37th-general-assembly-of-the-pca/
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Romans 8
Since i have moved to greenville i have been meaning to find a doctor before my meds ran out. However, i totally forgot and was left frantic to randomly find someone asap so that i wouldn't have to go crazy off my medication. After texting several friends i find out that all my friend are healthy and don't go to doctors. Awesome. anyways one thing lead to another and found out a sweet friend who happens to be in both my community group and bible study is a family doctor.( i had no clue.. guess im an awful friend) thankfully she fit me in the next morning. I've never had a doctor that
1) i knew before hand
2) is a believer
3) i felt comfortable with
all in all the appointment went great. I was able to be honest with not just my physical need but also how my spiritual need come into play with all the different meds i am taking. As my doctor wrote out my prescriptions i noticed there were one to many. Looking at the last one it read: "Romans 8". it was one of those moments that i just sat there and read over and over.. Romans 8.. Romans 8.. that's it!! at the end of the day no medication will ever cure,fix,satisfy me long term, oh how i wish it would. But ahh what a sweet gift from the Lord! I have never been prescribed the Word from a doctor before.. but it really did mean so much to read that off the paper. Romans 8 live by the spirit.
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."-Romans 8:6
What a comfort to know that God is not separate from my doctors visits, or my health issues, or my anxiety, or the decisions that have to be made. Thankful for the Holy Spirit that lives in me that offers life and peace.
1) i knew before hand
2) is a believer
3) i felt comfortable with
all in all the appointment went great. I was able to be honest with not just my physical need but also how my spiritual need come into play with all the different meds i am taking. As my doctor wrote out my prescriptions i noticed there were one to many. Looking at the last one it read: "Romans 8". it was one of those moments that i just sat there and read over and over.. Romans 8.. Romans 8.. that's it!! at the end of the day no medication will ever cure,fix,satisfy me long term, oh how i wish it would. But ahh what a sweet gift from the Lord! I have never been prescribed the Word from a doctor before.. but it really did mean so much to read that off the paper. Romans 8 live by the spirit.
"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."-Romans 8:6
What a comfort to know that God is not separate from my doctors visits, or my health issues, or my anxiety, or the decisions that have to be made. Thankful for the Holy Spirit that lives in me that offers life and peace.
Monday, January 17, 2011
"He knows what He is doing with me" job 33:1
today was a range of emotions for me..
1) a sweet friends mom rushed to the hospital
2)lots to do today
3)day 11 of kids being out of school
4)an anxious heart
5)worked later for an extra family
6)phone died
7)confession @ bible study
8)mini break down
9)1 hour conv w/a new friend bearing one another burdens
as i walk away from another 24 yr old drama queen day, i have learned:
1)i have little patience and want to pray for more
2)baby steps- sanctification is a process (ugh)
3)i long for a time line
4)i think the lord has given me plan b
5)soo thankful we have a body of Christ and i don't do this alone
6)i think seasons in my life should last no more than 4-6 weeks (ive been proven wrong)
7)i want a quick fix
8)i want to learn to become content
9)thankful my heart of stone is breaking down.. i'm starting to feel again
10)God is not a God of confusion but of peace.. thank you lord!
11) i rely on myself way to much
12)i don't know how to receive unconditional love
13) if "love is patient, and kind" 1 cor 13 then i don't know what it means to really love others well.
14) Job 33:1 "He knows what He is doing with me, and when He has tested me, I will come forth as pure Gold."
15)ahhh 1)He knows what he is doing with me 2) he is all about some sanctification and not letting me settle for what i so long for COMFORT 3) "i will come forth" sweet reminder that we're not stuck in this season4) come forth as pure gold.. its crazy to think we will be better off, and look back thankful for the testing/discipline(hard for me to see right now, but i want to believe it!)
PTL for new mercies tomorrow..
1) a sweet friends mom rushed to the hospital
2)lots to do today
3)day 11 of kids being out of school
4)an anxious heart
5)worked later for an extra family
6)phone died
7)confession @ bible study
8)mini break down
9)1 hour conv w/a new friend bearing one another burdens
as i walk away from another 24 yr old drama queen day, i have learned:
1)i have little patience and want to pray for more
2)baby steps- sanctification is a process (ugh)
3)i long for a time line
4)i think the lord has given me plan b
5)soo thankful we have a body of Christ and i don't do this alone
6)i think seasons in my life should last no more than 4-6 weeks (ive been proven wrong)
7)i want a quick fix
8)i want to learn to become content
9)thankful my heart of stone is breaking down.. i'm starting to feel again
10)God is not a God of confusion but of peace.. thank you lord!
11) i rely on myself way to much
12)i don't know how to receive unconditional love
13) if "love is patient, and kind" 1 cor 13 then i don't know what it means to really love others well.
14) Job 33:1 "He knows what He is doing with me, and when He has tested me, I will come forth as pure Gold."
15)ahhh 1)He knows what he is doing with me 2) he is all about some sanctification and not letting me settle for what i so long for COMFORT 3) "i will come forth" sweet reminder that we're not stuck in this season4) come forth as pure gold.. its crazy to think we will be better off, and look back thankful for the testing/discipline(hard for me to see right now, but i want to believe it!)
PTL for new mercies tomorrow..
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Thankful wednesday
something im wanting to do more of in 2011 is writing down the things i am thankful for day to day. I think its so easy for me to let my mind determine my mood, and that...can be scary! so here's to the first blog (of many, i hope) of things i'm thankful for..
1.the sweet sweet griffith girls i spend my days with
2.starbucks coffee and a few mins to enjoy it
3.visiting the ymca in hopes that i will join for zumba classes
4.meeting new people at the y
5.free stuff- 2 guest passes, and coffee at panera
6.being able to listen to conference online
7.that i am not my own
8.my God "He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure". ps 40:2
9.that i am alive in christ
10.i am married to christ
11. in marriage there are 2 phases.1) wedding-romantic 2)marriage-developmental/life on life. praying that i would not want to just be woed and pursed by christ but that i would want to be fully known and made one with christ.
12. 2 hours of law and order svu
13. a quiet night to just "be"
14.dreaming for the future
15. reading blogs
16. the talk about more snow
1.the sweet sweet griffith girls i spend my days with
2.starbucks coffee and a few mins to enjoy it
3.visiting the ymca in hopes that i will join for zumba classes
4.meeting new people at the y
5.free stuff- 2 guest passes, and coffee at panera
6.being able to listen to conference online
7.that i am not my own
8.my God "He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog,and set my feet upon a rock,making my steps secure". ps 40:2
9.that i am alive in christ
10.i am married to christ
11. in marriage there are 2 phases.1) wedding-romantic 2)marriage-developmental/life on life. praying that i would not want to just be woed and pursed by christ but that i would want to be fully known and made one with christ.
12. 2 hours of law and order svu
13. a quiet night to just "be"
14.dreaming for the future
15. reading blogs
16. the talk about more snow
Truth in love
Blog from Andy Lewis: www.gospelparadox.blogspot.com
an immediate heart scan
A friend sat me down yesterday to tell me that he was noticing something concerning in my life. There was a way in which I was speaking that he thought may be distracting. He was right...and for that matter a good friend to point it out.
Scripture tells us that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Rebuke done in truth and love is the best thing a friend can do. What happened yesterday is that I had an immediate heart scan (my friend only saw a little blip) but it revealed a larger cancer in my spiritual life.
I realized that what is coming out of my mouth is indicated what is already in my heart. It is a great and painful way to scan your life and see how spiritually healthy your heart is... Here are some questions I'm using.
- Am I poking fun at someone because I'm insecure or intimidated?
- Am I saying something to receive affirmation or to bolster my reputation?
- Am I talking about anyone in a way that I wouldn't speak face to face?
- Am I sowing discord by letting people believe things about others that is conjuncture?
- Am I hoping to make someone feel bad by being quiet instead of extending forgiveness?
- Am I cutting people down so I feel bigger?
- Am I trying to prove that I am right before listening to the other opinions?
- Am I always trying to solve the problem before I pray about the situation?
- Am I saying things that make me look better or less sinful than I actually am?
- Am I judging people verbally before I know them?
Scripture is so practically helpful its scary: Luke 6 For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. What God's word tells us is that our tongues provide an immediate heart scan.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ...9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
BUT - all is not lost. This morning I can draw near to God. I am not to speak about him before I draw near to him. But I can draw near as I have found out yesterday and I'm finding out today that I am: insecure, scared, intimidated, prideful, plagued with low self-esteem, judgmental, etc.
I can draw near and find my security and identity in the fact that God knows me and gives me grace. I can draw near first in worship of Him which allows me to freely love others. I can draw near to a God who loves me because Christ has been judged for my sin. To a God who doesn't speak about me behind my back but instead has put my sins behind his back! To a God is longing for my conversation in prayer. To a God who loves to here my inadequate and off-pitch praise.
I can draw near to a God - who pulls me out of the muck and mire and puts a new song in my mouth - a song of praise to my God (Ps. 40.)
So I confess and repent and am thankful to a God who loves and forgives and a friend who speaks the truth in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
an immediate heart scan
A friend sat me down yesterday to tell me that he was noticing something concerning in my life. There was a way in which I was speaking that he thought may be distracting. He was right...and for that matter a good friend to point it out.
Scripture tells us that wounds from a friend can be trusted. Rebuke done in truth and love is the best thing a friend can do. What happened yesterday is that I had an immediate heart scan (my friend only saw a little blip) but it revealed a larger cancer in my spiritual life.
I realized that what is coming out of my mouth is indicated what is already in my heart. It is a great and painful way to scan your life and see how spiritually healthy your heart is... Here are some questions I'm using.
- Am I poking fun at someone because I'm insecure or intimidated?
- Am I saying something to receive affirmation or to bolster my reputation?
- Am I talking about anyone in a way that I wouldn't speak face to face?
- Am I sowing discord by letting people believe things about others that is conjuncture?
- Am I hoping to make someone feel bad by being quiet instead of extending forgiveness?
- Am I cutting people down so I feel bigger?
- Am I trying to prove that I am right before listening to the other opinions?
- Am I always trying to solve the problem before I pray about the situation?
- Am I saying things that make me look better or less sinful than I actually am?
- Am I judging people verbally before I know them?
Scripture is so practically helpful its scary: Luke 6 For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. What God's word tells us is that our tongues provide an immediate heart scan.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ...9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
BUT - all is not lost. This morning I can draw near to God. I am not to speak about him before I draw near to him. But I can draw near as I have found out yesterday and I'm finding out today that I am: insecure, scared, intimidated, prideful, plagued with low self-esteem, judgmental, etc.
I can draw near and find my security and identity in the fact that God knows me and gives me grace. I can draw near first in worship of Him which allows me to freely love others. I can draw near to a God who loves me because Christ has been judged for my sin. To a God who doesn't speak about me behind my back but instead has put my sins behind his back! To a God is longing for my conversation in prayer. To a God who loves to here my inadequate and off-pitch praise.
I can draw near to a God - who pulls me out of the muck and mire and puts a new song in my mouth - a song of praise to my God (Ps. 40.)
So I confess and repent and am thankful to a God who loves and forgives and a friend who speaks the truth in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
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